Why are white American females so difficult?


Are they as difficult as some of us think?  Is it all in our heads?  Or what?

Here are some of my thoughts on the matter (let’s pretend it actually means something and has some value):

Let me first say that I have kept a lot of my feelings about both the ‘jerk question’ (why girls are attracted to jerks) and the ‘difficult white American female’ silent for over 20 years.  I seldom spoke about it.  Every time I brought it up I got some sort of crap about it.  Whenever I talked about problems relating to ‘The Subject’ (that’s what I call things about dating, girls, sex, and so on) I tended to get two main responses, which I have always called ‘the two principles of The Subject’:

The First Principle – If there is a problem it’s always my fault.

The Second Principle – If there is a problem it’s because of some deep personal inadequacy of mine (Like being impotent, a ‘loser’, or some other degrading thing.  Guys seem to like to gloat over the possible inadequacy of other guys.  A lot of guys jump on it every chance they get.).

You’ll note how the female is absent in this point of view.  Her input is nil.  It’s almost like she isn’t even involved.  They talk as if she wasn’t part of the relationship.  It’s this type of thinking that makes many males not see their difficulty or overlook it . . . its always the males fault, remember!  The first step to acknowledging their difficulty is acknowledging that they are there and make an influence on things.  That is to say, the female “plays her part”.

After hearing the ‘two principles’ so often I got tired of this monotonous ridiculous point of view and, as a result, seldom brought the subject up.  I might as well talk to a wall than talk to someone about it.  I’ve been told so many times that it’s ‘all in my head’ or ‘only I’m seeing this’ or ‘I’m looking at things the wrong way’ or ‘I must be a loser’ and so on that a part of me still wonders if it really is true.

But two things happened that made me think it all over again.  To begin with I began to be around foreign girls and were so impressed by them (many of them made the young white American female look like some sort of joke).  In general, they were so much more easier to get along with and pleasant to be around.  They opened me eyes.  I got so used to the difficult white American female I didn’t think girls could be any different.  I got to admit that they made me consider the possibility of getting married again.  The other thing is that I turned 40.  Naturally, I began to question my life.  One of the questions I brought up is ‘why have I become a confirmed bachelor (that is, a male that has no desire or intentions of getting married)’?  One of the things I did is look on the internet to see what other people said about it (In fact, it’s looking about things on the internet that I found this site).  I found that I was not the only one noticing the young white American female was difficult.  Not only that, we were often describing the same traits.  Up until then I thought I was the only one who thought this way or even noticed it.  It’s nice to know I’m not the only one noticing this.  It suggested that what I was saying was true and that it wasn’t my ‘fault’, as everyone else seemed to say.

My personal feelings are that young white American females, in general, do have a difficulty and ‘challenge’ (if you want to call it that) that I’ve never seen in anyone else.  As I reflect back on all the people I’ve dealt with – young white American females, older white American females, white males of all ages, foreign girls, foreign males, etc. – there is a consistent quality that makes the young white American female different from the rest:  their difficulty.  No other group has given me the problems they have.   Many problems I consider characteristic to them and are not to be seen in any other group.

For me, I started to see the problems with the young white American female right out of high school, probably about 1986, when I first went to college.  It all started over simple casual conversation.  Many times I’d talked to them and they’d get pissed off or upset or even call me a name.  I couldn’t believe it.  None of it seemed to make sense, as it was just chit-chat.  I talked to them no differently than in my conversations with other people (that is, I wasn’t trying to come on to them or anything).  I noticed that I never had this problem with anyone else.  At first I thought it was me.  Maybe I was behaving badly or something?  I talked to some guys about it and, naturally, they said it was my fault (remember ‘the two principles’ above?).  I tried to do some of the suggestions they suggested but nothing worked.

One day something happened that made me come up with an idea.  I made a joke to a guy.  He thought it was hilarious and we both laughed.  Later I was talking to a white American female and couldn’t think of anything so I said the same sort of joke.  She got upset and made a big deal about it . . . again.  Finally I said, “what’s going on here?  Why are they always acting differently than everyone else?  Why is it that I always have problems with these same people?”  I come up with this idea to do an experiment.  I’d say a joke to a young male, an older male, a young female, and an older female and see how they respond.  They all laughed and played along . . . except the young white American female, who usually got upset in some way.  I did this experiment I don’t know how many times.  Same response.  Then I’d do little chit-chat, like talking about a test.  Same response.  Then I’d just talk about different things at random.  Same response.  If I recall right the only person I had problems with were the young white American females.  I noticed the age range for being difficult was late teens to about mid 30’s.  It seemed to peak in the early-mid 20’s.  The older they were the less problems I had.  I don’t ever recall any other group giving me problems.

This isn’t that drastic but it’s the ‘introduction’ I would receive to an ongoing problem that has lasted half my life and caused me nothing but grief.  It also set the tone that it’s always the same group of people doing this.  Never is it anyone else.

I’ve continued to do that experiment (and variations of it) from time to time since then.  Just several months ago I did it again (between young white American females and foreign girls) and guess what . . . same response.  Twenty years and the young white American female is the one who’s always difficult!

This, for me, has become the symbol of the difficult white American female – when you can’t even have a simple casual conversation without them being pissed off in some way or in which you have to treat her a special way before Her Highness will speak to you.

I found that the white American female always created these problems and difficulties that I’ve never seen in anyone else.  It’s unique to them.  Many times have I complained how you have to walk around them on pins and needles and handle them very carefully.  I began to learn that you have to be careful what you say around them, how you move, how you think, even how long you talk to them.  You make a wrong move then forget it.  I’d always joke saying things like, “I guess I didn’t conjugate my verbs the right way” or “I guess I should of parted my hair on the other side”.  For me this got to the point of being ridiculous.  I can’t stand having to walk on tip-toes around someone.  For me, it became one of the many deterrents that prevented me from wanting to associate with them.  By my late 20’s I found I did not associate with girls anymore.  Even now I find I avoid younger white American girls.

From where I stand, the young white American female is, in general, a difficult person.  I believe it to be so for many of them.  Like I said, I don’t want much to do with them anymore.  I don’t believe they are all like that though.  Some aren’t difficult (if anyone finds one let me know!).  Some are difficult one way, and others difficult another way.  This difficulty seems a common trait in the general population and, I think, is sort of an American trait of the white female.

It amazes me how just a couple of years makes a difference in females too.  I’ve found that I get along great with girls that are older than me, even by a couple of years.  I have a riot with them.  They are so fun and open.  I’ve developed good relationships with many of them.  I’ve often said that if I wanted to marry I should marry a girl that’s older.  Interestingly, several years ago I remember reading an article on how they were finding that there was a trend in guys to marry older girls.  Why?  BECAUSE THE OLDER GIRLS ARE NOT DIFFICULT AND EASIER TO GET ALONG WITH.  Basically, THE YOUNG WHITE AMERICAN FEMALES ARE TOO MUCH OF A PAIN.  Sound familiar?  I definitely relate with that.  A girl that is even several years younger than me has been nothing but difficult and a pain all my adult life.  Four years difference in age (several years older or younger than me) can make a difference between difficult and easy to get along with.


Recently, I have begun to call the white American female by the word “DWAF”.  This means Difficult White American Female.  These girls are typically young, that is, younger than me, between late teens and 40.   They are worst in their 20’s.  I’ve found that it’s best not even to associate with those girls.  I used to always say, “don’t speak to them, don’t notice them, don’t walk past them, and don’t look at them as it will only feed their vanity.”  One thing you don’t want to do is feed these girls vanity.  That much I’ve learned.

As I said above, I had it drilled into my head for so long that it was my fault that I naturally believed it to be true.  But a series of discussions with people over a period of time began to change my point of view.  One discussion, in particular, stands out in my mind.  Oddly, it was over a simple thing – casual conversation . . . again.  If I recall right it was about a female who wouldn’t say a word to me when I tried to start up a casual conversation with her a number of times.  In fact, she hardly spoke a word to me at all while I knew her (At various places I’ve worked there have been DWAF’s who never spoke one word to me, even though I spoke to them many many many times.  Only in the young white American female!).  It’s like she ignored me and I thought that was rude and ignorant.  It, frankly, pissed me off.  Wondering why this was so, I got in a conversation with several guys about it, and there was even a female there.  I got all this crap how I didn’t do that, I didn’t do this, so on and so forth.  Even the girl said I did this or that wrong.  The same ‘two principles’ above again.  I’ve found that in most conversations with people there was a pattern of thought – EVERYTHING SEEMS TO REVOLVE AROUND HOW I DIDN’T DO SOMETHING THE WAY SHE WANTED IT.  IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING HAS TO BE A ‘CERTAIN SPECIAL WAY’ FOR HER TOO (USUALLY, I HAVE NO CLUE AS TO WHAT THIS ‘CERTAIN SPECIAL WAY’ IS THOUGH).  BECAUSE I DIDN’T DO IT RIGHT I WAS AT FAULT FOR IT.  Me . . . because I didn’t do it the way she wanted!  Bullshit!  I got infuriated and, out of nowhere, I said something like, “my God, this is just casual flippin conversation!  This isn’t like I’m trying to come on to her or anything.  It shouldn’t require all this crap from me.  It’s a casual conversation . . . chit-chat.  There’s something called human courtesy, that when someone speaks to you you speak back to them.  My God people.  And what about her?  If I’m not mistaken there are two people there.  I’m not the only one there.  Don’t you think she should do something?  Don’t you think she needs to play her part?  Don’t you think she needs to contribute something?  She’s an adult for crying out loud.  It’s not my flippin fault.  And what do you mean I did something wrong?  It’s just casual conversation.  What else am I supposed to do?  And what’s all this shit about how I have to do and say things a certain way around her.  That’s a conceited spoiled brat that makes that shit a requirement before they’ll say a word to me.  Don’t blame me for the brat’s behavior.  She’s the friggin God damn problem not me!  I’m not the one being difficult here.  I’M NOT THE ONE MAKING IT DIFFICULT FOR ANOTHER PERSON.”  You can tell it pissed me off, and it did . . . all over a casual conversation!  Only in the young white American female.  I never had this problem with any other group of people.  It’s rude when you speak to someone and they won’t speak back . . . but, according to everyone else, I was at fault for that.  After this I realized that I have become fed up with Little Miss Special-Requirements.

That is when I began to ask the question that noone else seemed to ask:  WHAT ABOUT HER?

With this new perspective I began to see things differently.  I no longer put her on a pedestal of ‘sanctity’ and ‘perfection’.  Increasingly, the female looked more and more of a problem.  It became clear as day how they made it hard for guys.  After many years I’ve begun to think that many guys are really nothing but victims of these people.  More than once have I jokingly called the DWAF nothing but a form of abuse, as she abuses many of us guys.  It almost looks as if many girls practically drag many guys into a pit like one big trap.  It definitely destroyed the Victorian image of the female for me, that’s for sure.

If someone were to ask me how to describe the DWAF’s character in as little words as possible I’d probably say:  “A girl who expects me to do everything for her and won’t do anything for me” or, better yet, “she expects and doesn’t give”.  It seems that a lot of their difficulty is nothing but a variation of that theme, however mild it may be.

There are a number of traits that is seen in the DWAF character.  If I try to list them I find that nobody has all of them.  There seems to be characters types that tend to have certain traits only.  The point being that THERE ARE MANY VARIATIONS OF THE DWAF.  Some of the traits I can think of include:

–    Conceited

–    Vain

–    Self-concerned

–    Self-absorbed

–    Selfish

–    Fixated on themselves

–    Thinks the world is supposed to revolve around them

–    Snobbish

–    Greedy

–    They often think they are better

–    Rude and ignorant

–    Arrogant

–    Lack of concern for others

–    Not understanding

–    Excessive and often endless complaining

–    Expect everything to be done for her

–    Expects to be pleased

–    Requires ‘special’ treatment

–    Doesn’t do anything to help out

–    Doesn’t please people

–    Doesn’t do anything for anyone

–    Lack of courtesy and manners

–    Non-appreciative

–    Non-forgiving

–    Too ‘tight’ (don’t allow any room for error)

–    False sense of who they are

–    Lack of humility

–    Oversensitive

–    Very touchy

–    Temperemental

–    Uptight

–    Demanding

–    High maintenance

–    Expect us to read their minds

–    Looks for problems in people

–    Name calling

–    Over-inflated view of themselves

–    Turning everything into a drama

–    Play games

–    Non-responsive

–    Stubborn

–    Non-compliant

–    Living in a ‘shell’

And the list goes on.

Why are they like this?

I tend to feel that ONE OF THE PRIMARY REASONS WHY YOUNG WHITE AMERICAN FEMALES ARE DIFFICULT IS THAT WE ARE DEALING WITH A BUNCH OF SPOILED BRATS.  In fact, I feel that a lot of this theme will really be dealing with the subject of ‘what is a brat?’  I feel this is a product of the American commercial, hedonistic, and individualistic society.  In a way, DOESN’T AMERICA TEACH PEOPLE TO BE SELFISH?  Is it any wonder girls are like this in this society?   Frankly, it doesn’t surprise me.

After reflecting on brat kids I know and their traits, I tended to say that one of the traits of a spoiled brat is that they learn to EXPECT THINGS WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING IN RETURN.   Oddly enough, this is one of the most common ways I describe the DWAF!  I have always complained how the DWAF seems to think I’m supposed to give her everything and she doesn’t do crap for me.  She expects . . . but gives nothing.  This is one of the reasons, actually, why I have a low view of DWAF’s.  They demand all this stuff from me but when have they ever lifted a finger for me?  I have a hard time respecting someone like that.  Even this last Christmas I joked to a friend of mine that what I wanted for Christmas is for a female to actually do something for me.  I don’t mean anything drastic (like sex or something).  I mean to actually do something simple, like come up and talk to me just for the hell of it, be open with me and not so closed, to be friendly with me without me having to do something for her first, or to treat me kindly for no reason whatsoever . . . little things like that.  I’d like to see that in a young white American female, I really would.  From my experience, though, that’s a lot to ask from a lot of girls (there’s a class of girl you will never get that from).  To get them to do any of those things I’d probably have to suck up to them and do something ‘special’ for them.  You see I always have to do something for them.  Never do they do anything for me.  Never!  As I always say:  The DWAF demands and she expects.  If you don’t please her, forget it.  Isn’t that a spoiled brat?  If you listen to a lot of guys talk about dating you can see that that is what guys have to do – fulfill the DWAF’s demands.  My experience is that most talk about dating is trying to figure out what those demands are, which is usually a guessing game, as each girl is different and what she wants changes every couple of minutes.  I’ve been in a number of pow-wow’s with guys trying to figure out what Her Highness wants, oftentimes so she’ll just talk to him (my feelings for that now is that if it ever comes to that just forget her).  It’s funny in a way:  A bunch of guys sitting there trying to guess what she wants, without so much as a clue, but pretending they’re in control and know what’s going on.  It cracks me up.

Another trait of a brat is A LACK OF HUMILITY.  I can remember watching the older generation, how the girls had to learn to sacrifice and give of themselves in life.  They learned a humility in life.  The DWAF doesn’t even seem to know what the word means.  This lack of humility tends to make these girls arrogant and snobbish oftentimes.  I tend to feel that ONE OF THE REMEDIES TO THE DWAF PROBLEM IS FOR HER TO LEARN HUMILITY, that they are not the only ones in the world, that the world does not revolve around them, and that the world will not continually cater to her.  A lot of these girls, nowadays, should be taught that.

I think it was in Berlin that I seemed to notice what appeared to be two different types of girls.  One type reminded me of the DWAF.  They seemed very young, like teenage or early 20’s age range.  They had that prissy ‘I’m important’ quality walking around with shopping bags cause they just got through shopping, buying themselves more crap (commercialism seeps in, isn’t that interesting?).  This is a good example how THERE SEEMS TO BE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE DIFFICULT FEMALE AND COMMERCIALISM.  I could see the difficulty beginning with them, the same we have in the U.S., but not as bad.  There was another type of girl that seemed like they were from the ‘back country’ or small towns.  These girls were easy to get along with and I enjoyed to be around them.  These girls were not brought up with all the materialistic commercialism.  They had learned that the world will not cater to them, that they have to make concessions in life, that they need to make sacrifices, and that they need to help out in life.  They learned a humility in life.  I was impressed with them.  These girls seemed more mature, grown up, more secure with themselves, were easier to get along with, and were often great people.  The other type were more like selfish conceited brats who didn’t care about anyone else.  God help us!

Still another trait of a brat is A LACK OF COURTESY AND CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE AND THINGS.  In fact, my first confrontation with the DWAF was when they treated me rude and ignorantly . . . and for no reason  (I was stumped at first and couldn’t figure it out.  Then I’d ask others and the answer I usually got was:  it’s my fault.  I still don’t see anything wrong I did.  I personally feel that this CONTINUAL BLAMING OF THE MALE IS THE ‘COVER STORY’ FOR SOMETHING NOONE CAN EXPLAIN.  It’s the easy way out.).  Many of these girls have no manners at all.  I’ve always been stunned how little courtesy girls have.  Some girls were so rude I ended up having to lecture a number of them on how they need to be more courteous to people.  Believe it or not!  I think many of them need to learn some kindness as well.  Many of these girls seem like they have no ‘communication’ or ‘human skills’ at all.  I know that quite a few are not courteous and kind because they use their bodies to get their way.

But there are other things besides being a brat:

This commercial society caters to female’s whims and wants too much.  In fact, from my experience, I tend to feel that catering too much to the female’s whims and wants is a bad thing.  Girls concerning themselves about their hair and looks is normal . . . to a point.  I tend to believe that the females concern for their bodies and that is actually a ‘pre-mothering’.   That is to say, a child is an extension of the female body (in psychoanalyis this is a recurrent theme).  And so before becoming mothers they ‘practice’ mothering, so to speak, on themselves and sit and care for their bodies almost in preparation for children.  When they have children their concern over their body tends to turn into a care for the child.  But in this country they spend so much time having their whims and wants being catered to by commercialism and developing a selfish attitude that it becomes a form of what I call ‘SELF-ABSORPTION’.  The ‘pre-mothering’ becomes an absorption with their selves and their bodies.  It often never gets ‘transferred’ to the child.  To me, this can reach the point of being pathological, that is, a psychological problem.  For these types of girls they become so self-absorbed that the rest of the world fades away and disappears.  Their whole life revolves around them.  This is where I get that saying of mine:  “their world ends at the tips of their nipples”.  When they do look out into the world they look for things in it to please them only.  They expect the world to please them and get pissed off when it doesn’t.  This self-absorption can be so strong that it creates what I call a ‘shell’ around them.  With the ‘shell’, there becomes a marked demarcation between them and the world.  This ‘shell’ makes girls hard to associate with.  My experience is that once a female has a ‘shell’ it’s usually hard to get close to her, but there are gradations, from mild to severe.  I’ve always joked how, when I see a female with a ‘shell’ I always say, “better break out your chisel and hammer”, that’s so you can break through her shell.  Usually, the shell is broken only by being, oddly enough, humbled by life (we see the humility theme again).  A lot of times you have to wait til they grow older, out of their ‘sexual appealing’ phase for them to grow out of their ‘shell’ (then noone wants them – the humility theme again).  Most guys ‘succeed’ with them by catering to their whims, basically by satisfying the brat.  By catering to their whims the girls ‘open their shell’.  It’s funny.  These macho he-man guys think they did some great achievement but all they’re doing is making a spoilt brat happy.  Sort of sick in a way.

The DWAF seem to think the world revolves around them and the world should cater to them.  They don’t have to cater to anyone.  To be frank, in 20 years I don’t ever recall a DWAF doing anything for me, at least not spontaneously or on her own.  I don’t ever recall a DWAF coming up to have me just to have a conversation, I don’t ever recall any asking me to do something, or anything else for that matter.  It’s like they don’t do anything at all.  If it wasn’t for me trying to get to know them I wouldn’t even know they were there.  That’s how little they’ve done in my life.  Since I’ve practically abandoned them they are now practically non-existent.  Not for nothing do I often call DWAF’s ‘vegetables’.  Only in the young white American female!  Remember that saying of mine:  Expect nothing from the female because the female gives nothing.

This brings up another quality in the DWAF, what I call ‘non-participation’.  Many don’t seem to participate in life.  They seemed too wrapped up with themselves and live in their little world (the ‘shell’).  In fact, one of the first signs that I’m dealing with a DWAF is that I cannot get in a conversation with them, or that their conversation is very limited, or that they won’t associate back with me.  Some won’t say a word to me, even after months.  Some may say a couple of sentences.  I figure the average initial casual conversation with a DWAF usually lasts about 1 or 2 minutes.  This is usually a result of ‘non-participation’.  It’s like some of these girls refuse to participate in something unless everything is ‘a certain special way’ (I’ve heard girls admit to that).

And that brings up another point with these girls.  Over the years I have been repetitively told how things must be done a ‘certain special way’ with girls.  I have to speak in a certain way, move in a certain way, look a certain walk, talk in a certain way, etc.  Everything has to be ‘just right’.  Success or failure depends on it guys!  I’ve even heard girls admit to this many times.  To me this is all part of the brat.  Think of it . . .  these people are basing whole relationships with someone on if that person pleases them in a ‘certain special way’ or not.  What a brat!  What someone should do is smack her in the mouth in that ‘certain special way’.  Only in the young white American female.

They also can be snobbish.  I’ve heard many girls say that they will not speak to so and so because he’s a ‘dork’ or something, and that if he came and said something to her she’d just turn and walk away.  That’s a female snob, a girl who will only speak to certain guys and gives everyone else the ‘cold shoulder’.  This is a variation of the ‘certain special way’ theme above.  He is not that ‘certain special way’ she wants him to be so she treats him like crap.  Notice the lack of human kindness and decency in a girl like that.  Note how she’s basing everything on her wants as well.  Her wants are what’s dictating what she does.  What a brat!  It’s from this I get that joke of mine:  I guess I’m not prince charming enough for Her Highness.

Many DWAF’s are excellent at name calling I found.  I truly believe they take classes on it.  I’ve never seen a people who so relished name calling as the younger white American female.  I often think they keep a bag full of names.  All they got to do is just reach in and pull one out.  You displease the brat and she’ll call you a name in vengeance.  I’ve seen it where DWAF’s will call someone a name just because he doesn’t fit this image of a ‘hunk’.  Can you believe that?  It’s not uncommon for some DWAF’s to expect everyone around them to fit this image of what they think is neat (like the world is supposed to be the way they want).  If you’re not that way then she’ll call you names and treat you like crap, usually unprovoked and out-of-the-blue (I know, I’ve been there!).  It’s all-or-none thinking.  You either fit that image or you don’t.  If you don’t forget it.  You can see traits of the ‘shell’ in this (there’s a marked demarcation of her world and everyone else’s world), the ‘certain special way’ (expecting people to be a certain way she wants them to be), and ‘non-participation’ (as her only contribution is complaining).

DWAF’s excel at complaining.  They should have competitions.  I know some DWAF’s whose whole conversation is nothing but complaining.  That’s it!  That’s another trait they have that I’ve grown to detest.

They also love to talk about themselves.  I’ve been with some DWAF’s in which you cannot talk about yourself at all.  It’s all about them.  There is a shirt I’ve seen that has always nauseated me.  It says:  “It’s all about me”.  That makes me sick just thinking about it.  I can imagine what type of girl would wear it.  There is nothing so ugly to me than a girl who is ‘stuck on herself’, conceited, and vain.

A lot of these girls are brought up in a commercial society that, all their lives, sits and caters to them.  Everyday something is trying to impress them, entice them, please them, satisfy them.  Naturally, they grow to expect it.  More than once I’ve compared myself to a commercial when I’m with some girls.  Like a commercial, I’m putting on a show trying to get her to ‘buy’ me, so to speak.  I call myself of ‘show pony’ then.  My personal feeling is that it’s not good to continually sit and cater, impress, entice, or please girls.  I think the DWAF is an excellent example of this, as that’s what they sort of turn into.  It seems that continually catering to girls has a worse effect than on guys.  I always thought this is because girls are more ‘emotional’ and when emotions are continually preyed on it ends up dominating and controlling them.  It ends up making them conceited, selfish, self-centered, self-concerned, and so on.

To me the DWAF seems like they are slaves to their wants and whims.  In effect, WITH A DWAF YOU ARE NOT DEALING WITH A PERSON BUT WANTS AND WHIMS OF A PERSON.  This is what you communicate with and associate with.  A DWAF, THEN, IS NOT A PERSON.  This is one of the qualities that makes me want to spit when I’m around a DWAF.  It makes these girls difficult.  It’s no wonder that when I saw foreign girls and compared them with American girls I used words like mature, grown up, together as a person, and so on.  I could see that, with many foreign girls, I was usually dealing with a person and not their wants and whims.

I think one of the things that most pisses me off about the DWAF, and why I often will break off association with them, is how they return kindness with rudeness.  How many times have I said, “I’ve been nice to her, I’ve been courteous to her, I’ve been kind to her, I’ve tried to joke with her, I’ve tried to be friendly with her, I’ve tried to get into conversations with her.  And what does she do?  She treats me like crap.”  They end up being rude and ignorant with me and all I was trying to do is be friendly!  Only in the white American female.  I’ve never seen that in any other group.  I do the same thing with someone else and a friendship develops.  But not with them.  And then, to bring insult to injury, they tell me that they won’t have anything to do with me because “I’m too nice.”  Give me a God damn break girls!!!  Twenty years of that bullshit has taken it’s toll on me.  I’ve lost respect for these people.

A lot of American girls have a lack of self-respect and self-esteem.  I’ve always thought this predisposed them to being conceited, selfish, and vain as if to create an illusion that they do have self-respect and self-esteem.  It makes them feel important, I guess you could say.  But it’s all part of an illusion they create for themselves.  It makes them think they are something they’re not.  They end up having these high views of themselves and so on.  You end up dealing with a girl with a false sense of who they are.

A lot of American girls also have identity problems.  The female identity (and male identity for that matter) have been hacked to death.  Many girls no longer have an example to follow.  What they do have are people from the commercial world – actresses, models, etc.  These people are usually not the best examples of how to live nor are they in the ‘real world’.  This can lead to a difficulty, as we’re now dealing with girls who are ‘insecure with their feminity’ and often don’t know what it means.  They’re basing their identity on an unrealistic image.

Feminism has made females difficult, sometimes impossible.  I think that’s pretty obvious.  My experience is just to avoid these girls altogether.

A lot of DWAF’s are brought up with the ‘knight in shining armor’ myth and watch too many romances.  More than once have I thought that a lot of girls want to have the same thing repeated to them as in their favorite romances.  In fact, I know as a fact that some girls expect and wait for it to happen (I’ve heard them say it!).  In other words, THEY HAVE PRECONCEIVED IDEAS ABOUT WHAT THE MALE IS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT IS NOT BASED ON REALITY.  Again they expect and demand something.  Again it’s unrealistic.  This is part of what makes some of them difficult.  I GET THE IMPPRESION THAT ONE OF THE EFFECTS OF COMMERCIALISM IS TO PUT A LOT OF DWAF’S IN A DREAM WORLD WHICH THEY EXPECT (AND DEMAND!) TO HAPPEN.  The problem is that none of us can be like that.  It also makes them look for an unrealistic guy, usually a ‘jerk’.

The fact that this society puts so much emphasis on the female body and parades it about plays a big part I think.  I know that, for some girls, this creates big problems.  It puts a lot of unnecessary burden on some them if they don’t fit the ‘image’.  But the girls that fit the ‘image’ use it to the fullest.  My experience is that the prettier the girl is the more you don’t want to have anything to do with her.  A girl who fits societies ‘image’ is often the worst form of DWAF there is.  People are looking at them all the time, their treated good, and so on.  It’s a sure way to make a girl a brat.  The glorifying of the female body by this society has definitely helped to create the DWAF.

A lot of girls know they can use their body and looks to get their way.  It becomes a ‘bargaining chip’.  A lot of girls use it to fulfill their selfish wants.  I’ve seen this many times.  They use it to manipulate guys and such.  In fact, I feel that many girls use her body as an object more than the male does.  Many girls will not learn any human decency or kindness because all they got to do to get what they want is parade their body around.

I also blame the guys for making the DWAF brats.  This society so parades the female body around that it almost turns a lot of guys into puppy dogs begging for sex.  The guys will do anything to please her.  What better way to turn someone into a brat?  For example, I have a neighbor girl who has become a teenager and have found that all these guys are looking at her.  She’s become increasingly difficult.  All she cares about is her looks, clothes, phone, etc.  Her mother said, “God, she’s become nothing but a pain in the butt.”  I’ve heard that tune many times.

I sometimes think that there is a ‘mental’ problem with many American girls, as if there is something ‘wrong’ with them.  I’ve found I’m not alone in this.  Females have had problems before though.  In the Victorian era (pre WWII) neuroses were very common, sometimes defining the female character in general.  I tend to believe neuroses was a result of the very strong morality prevalent during that era.  These tended to lead to personal and often private problems that only sometimes created social problems with people, as we’re seeing with the DWAF.  With the generation after WWII, brought up with commercialism, who became about 20 about 1970, we start seeing another problem – character or personality disorders (which I often call a ‘malformed personality’).  Neuroses, nowadays, is not all that common (and seems to be seen with people brought up in very religious or conservative surroundings).  It seems that a lot of the really bad difficulty I see in girls seems related to a character or personality disorder in the female, which can range from minor to a major crisis.  Just as Victorian girls are often described as having a neurotic character, so we could also say the post WWII ‘modern’ female has a ‘malformed personality’ character (which goes for the guys as well, but that’s another story).

I must admit that I sometimes feel we guys play a part in all this.  If the female has become difficult could we also of become difficult and don’t know it?  I, for instance, am not all that willing to take on all the female crap.  It’s true that I have a low tolerance for female crap.  I don’t know how some guys could take it, I really don’t.  It seems to be worse in me than in most guys I see in this society, but it doesn’t seem as bad as in the past or in other countries.  But maybe I should be more willing to accept their crap?  Maybe I should be more understanding and patient?  Maybe that’s a selfishness on my part?  I don’t know.  Maybe a lot of us guys don’t know how to relate with girls anymore (I have little evidence, though, that the American male has a problem relating with females)?  Personally, I don’t believe it is any of these ways.  I tend to think modern American society has effected the males in other ways.  It made a lot of the girls difficult brats but us guys, being different in character, have responded in a different way (which is a whole other story).  I tend to not believe the male has become difficult but the male suffers from other problems.

I personally feel that the male counterpart to the DWAF is the pussy-whipped ‘yes ma’am’ cowering males who will do whatever the female wants.  These are the ones who suck up to the female and do everything to please her.  That way, he can get his want, right?  Because he is bent on pleasing a person that expects to be pleased this guys does not see the difficult side of the female.  Whenever she’s difficult he does what it takes to make her happy.  I’ve heard guys say that this is “how you treat girls”.  It fits like hand in glove:  a male willing to please to get his wants, a female expecting to be pleased and have her wants satisfied.  What better relationship is there than that?

Regardless of the other attempts I’ve heard to deny the DWAF is difficult, there is one truth that keeps coming up:  WHY ARE THEY THE ONLY ONES I’M HAVING DIFFICULTY WITH?  WHY DO I NOT HAVE THESE SAME PROBLEMS WITH ANYONE ELSE?  Maybe if I had these problems with other people I would think otherwise, but I don’t.  If I had the same problems with older white American females maybe I might think it was me.  Maybe if I had these problems with foreign girls I might think it was me.  Maybe if I had these problems with guys I might think it was me.  But I haven’t.  To me, this is the proof that there is something going on, regardless of what anyone else says.  It’s like when I found I was lactose intolerant.  Every time I had milk my stomach ached and it sometimes felt like someone stuck an air compressor hose in my butt and turned it on.  But when I didn’t have milk, I didn’t have any problems.  When I don’t associate with a DWAF I don’t have any problems.  When I do associate with DWAF’s something usually comes up.  You tell me how I should interpret that?

I’ve often wondered what traits DWAF’s should develop to help them not be difficult.  I find that, over the years, I tend to speak of three themes usually:

1. Learn some friendliness, kindness, and courtesy.  Treat people with more respect.

2. Learn to contribute alittle bit.  Help out.  Don’t expect the male to hold her hand in everything.  Don’t expect everyone to do everything for her.  Crawl out of her ‘shell’ and participate in the world.

3. Learn some humility.  She needs to learn that the world isn’t going to cater to her all the time nor does it revolve around her.   She’s not the only person in the world.

For what it’s worth . . . at the current U.S. dollar foreign exchange rate – about .90 cents . . . wait! .85 cents . . . wait! .80 cents . . . wait! .75 cents . . .

(I wrote this in about 2007)


Look at this reply I received on September 23, 2015:

“I’m a white young american female, and I’m not vain or greedy, hell I would sacrifice myself for a kid on the street. Nobodies gonna give u crap for having an opinion but the thing is in America we believe in equality bitch and we don’t mope around and wait for the women to clean and than f*ck her like they do in Europe (again a stereotype, but it’s what I hear, not neccasiarly true). The women here are extremely ambitious and determined and won’t no man get in her way of success, in America literally everyone wants to b famous and they’ll stop at nothing to get there. Ya were freaking strong and if we hear U complain about us we would beat U up. I’m no feminist but no girl american or not deserves a stereotypical guy that contains about the girls that he’s with like U butt wad”


Unbeknownst to that girl, she actually gave some clues to why American females are so difficult.  Some of the themes she speaks of I’ve written in articles such as “Thoughts on the ‘failed sex’ – how many female traits have failed – a hidden crisis of the American female” and “Thoughts on the absurd claims of feminists” and “More thoughts on the “female-as-victim” – revealing aspects of the mother instinct“.  Despite what she says she is showing signs of the American female who is insecure in who she is (the ‘failed sex’) and feminism (which is a response to the condition of the ‘failed sex’).  Since I have written the article above, I have begun to realize that there is a hidden crisis in the American female.  In fact, my continued observation is showing that it is far more severe than I originally thought.  As far as I know I am the only one to acknowledge this female crisis.  In many ways, the article above were some of my first observations of this problem with the American female and how it makes many of them difficult.  This, though, is only a small aspect of this problem.

The hidden crisis seems to revolve around how the American female have a poor view of not only themselves as female but the female overall.  This has led to a condition where they have basically undermined themselves, their role, and their worth in society over the years.  The female identity has been devastated as a result.  Because of this, the American female, really, has nowhere to “go” anymore.  In other words, there is no longer a “place” for the female (I’ve written an article involving this called “More thoughts on the ‘female crisis’ – the need for self respect and the ‘niche’”).  Because of things like this, they are struggling with a ‘failed’ identity.  This causes things such as:

  • They are insecure in being female, and have a low self-esteem.  Many will have “issues” in being female and in doing female things.
  • A tendency to see anything that is ‘traditionally female’ as bad, an abuse, a victimizing, an enslavement, etc.  With some females, anything female is bad.
  • Viewing the female as a victim.  It often creates what I call the ‘female-as-victim syndrome’ which I consider an epidemic in the U.S.  Basically, they see some form of victimizing in just about everything.  You name it, it victimizes them in some way.
  • They try to seek to be “something other than they are”.  Many will become obsessed with having to ‘fit in’ and ‘do what everyone else is doing’.  In short, they no longer become “who they are” but whatever the society or trend says is good or an ideal.  This is often done to the point of mindless slavishness.  This tendency has undermined many females and makes a big contribution to the failure of the female identity.
  • An attempt to be male or male-like.  I often speak of this as the ‘female-as-a-man syndrome’.  This is a problem for some females in  the U.S.  Oftentimes, this becomes a means to escape their problems being female.  Some females will get so delusional that the will actually believe they are the “same” as a male.
  • An envy and jealousy of the male.  In some cases, they think the male “has everything and they have nothing”.  This is often looked at from the point of view that “its because he’s male and I’m female”.  In actuality, this reflects a poor view of themselves and a great jealousy of the male.  I’ve written an article involving this theme called “Thoughts on the female and Victorian society – “being Victorian green” – the females envy of the male and the ‘female envy culture’“.
  • They view the male as a threat.   In many cases, the male is viewed as this “tyrant” or “oppressor”.  I’ve seen cases where this reaches the point of a paranoid delusion.  I’ve even seen quite a few girls think that the male is “plotting” to somehow hurt them in some way as if there is a conspiracy against them.  For some girls, this is actually how they view the world and history.  A lot of feminism preaches this form of conspiracy and world view.
  • Accusation and blame.  Oftentimes, the males is blamed for their problems.  Sometimes its society that’s at fault.  Its not uncommon that this accusation and blame reaches ridiculous proportions, to the point of absurdity (see my article on the absurdity of feminists shown above for some examples).  Many females use accusation and blame to “cleanse” themselves of their problem.  That is to say, to make it “not heir problem”.  This is often associated with the ‘female-as-victim’ line of thought with the accusation and blame making them “innocent” victims!  This is often done to unbelievable proportions with unbelievable claims of abuse.
  • A difficulty associating with them.  This, of course, is what this article refers to.  As I said above it is actuality only a small aspect of a larger problem.  Interestingly, many females, I don’t think, are aware of how difficult they are.  As a result, when you speak of it, many females can’t understand what you’re talking about and will deny it.
  • An inability to deal with criticism.  Many will see any criticism, such as this article, in a very sinister way.  They’ll interpret it worse than it is such as seeing it as a personal attack and even to the point of paranoia, even preaching that there is a conspiracy on the part of the male to some how “degrade” or “belittle’ them since the beginning of time, at all times, and in everything.  This tendency reveals great self-esteem problems.
  • Using political/legal views to hide behind.  Many American females will use the British-based political/legal thinking (which is also the basis of American political/legal thinking) as a way to “hide” from this crisis.  They will paint themselves out, for example, as the “oppressed” or the “enslaved” fighting for their “freedom”.  Of course, we generally know who the culprit is behind this:  the evil tyrant male.  All this fits rather conveniently in the British-based political/legal thinking giving an illusion of validity.  In so doing they have actually painted a distorted and erroneous image of the female, as well as the male.  Interestingly, this point of view has only helped to undermine them by painting a wrong picture of the female . . . another example of how they are victims of their own thinking.
  • A great inner pent-up rage that can erupt over the smallest thing.  Many of us guys have to learn to “be careful” about what we say around some American girls.  I’ve heard many guys speak of having to walk on “pins and needles” around some American girls and joke that we might “offend them” or that “we might get sued”.  I know that, also, from personal experience.  I’ve seen girls erupt over, and blow out of proportion, a simple meaningless statement.  Many girls will see sinister things, and intentions, where there are none.  This can reach the point of delusional, as I think it is with some girls.  There is also a tendency for name calling.  In fact, it seems to me that I’ve seen more name calling from the insecure American female more than anyone else.
  • They seem oblivious to this problem and crisis.  Many males can see this problem, and refer to it all the time, though they usually do not know how to interpret it.  But I’ve seen few females who are aware of it.  If you make mention of anything like it, they often get upset and their self-esteem problems kick in and they start blaming you for it like you’re trying to degrade them or something.
  • They tend to become “self-absorbed”.  Having a problem with who they are, and feeling uncomfortable with being female, makes many females develop a quality of being absorbed with themselves.  In many cases, they become too absorbed with themselves to the point that nothing else exists.  It can create a quality of “me first” or “me is all that there is”.  This tendency makes many females difficult to associate with.

Sadly, these problems and tendencies tend to undermine themselves even more (I spoke of aspects of this in my article on the ‘failed sex’ mentioned above).  In other words, many American females seems like they are undermining themselves . . .  and none of them know it!

Many of these traits can be seen in the girls statement above:

  • To begin with is the reference to “equality”.  This almost always means an insecure female who often have a poor view of a female (though they usually don’t admit it to themselves).  “Equality” is a way of saying “my saying that I am the same as a male hides my insecurity in being female”.  In addition, its association with political/legal thought makes it seem “legitimate” giving an illusionary quality of authority.
  • Her insecurity in being female is further confirmed by the statement that, unlike Europe, “we don’t mope around and wait for the women to clean and than f*ck “.  This shows a general poor view of females, and what they do in life (Apparently, cleaning the house – a housewife – is a bad thing.  Maybe she, and a lot of American girls, ought to learn to have respect for what females have done in the world!).  Not only that, it shows a poor view of the male as if all the male wants to do is f*ck them.  This point of view also suggests the “male as victimizer of the female”, an all-so-familiar theme, as it suggests the female is sitting there innocently while the male treats them this way.
  • Her reference to “stereotype” is another reference to an insecurity in the female image.  In short, a “stereotype” is like saying “I don’t know, or understand, what the image of female has always been”.  More importantly, it shows that she views it as bad.  This bothers them as many aren’t sure what a female is deep down.  Another variation of this point of view is in the term “sexist”.
  • If one looks closer one can see that her image of herself is actually as if she were an American male.  That is to say, she is reflecting male ideas, mentality, and points of views in some of her statement.  Examples are her statement that American females are”extremely ambitious and determined” and “Ya were freaking strong”.  These are values the males created a long time ago.  Only recently, with the failure of the female identity, has the female taking them up.  I know, from experience, that females doing this are basically saying “yeah, we’re really men so . . . that way, we don’t have problems with being female”.  Take a look at this statement:  “we don’t mope around and wait for the women to clean and than f*ck “.  Notice the context of this statement:  its from the male point of view (“we don’t mope around and wait for the women . . . “)!  It shows she is viewing herself from the male viewpoint.  Its probably a sign of her insecurity in being female.
  • Notice also the name calling, such as calling me a “bitch” (interestingly, a derogative word for a female! . . . probably another “hint” at her own poor view of herself, and the female overall, deep down) and “butt wad”.  More than likely, she has some “issues” involving pent-up tension as that’s usually what name calling means.
  • This pent-up tension is further displayed in her violent statement: “we hear U complain about us we would beat U up.”
  • She also makes a revealing statement: “won’t no man get in her way of success”.  First of all, again this is reflecting the American male idea of independence.  Another reference to imitating the male.  This attitude, alone, makes the female difficult to associate with.  This is because, in a relationship, she is competing with you to be like a man . . . not a good recipe for a healthy relationship.   Secondly, it shows how there is a tendency for them to view the male as a threat, as if the male is “against” them, which they often assume is always happening . . . another bad attitude in a relationship.  Also notice this statement:  “in America literally everyone wants to b famous and they’ll stop at nothing to get there”.  This is really no different than saying “me first”.  In other words, a selfishness.  Attitudes like this make females difficult, sometimes impossible, to associate with.  This isn’t just true for the female  Even when males have similar attitudes they are difficult.

And, all this is rooted in a crisis in the American female, of how she views herself and what a female is.

(September 30, 2015)


This entry was posted in Feminism: a destructive philosophy, Psychology and psychoanalysis, The male and female, The U.S. and American society and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Why are white American females so difficult?

  1. schelljr says:

    excellent observations. as a mid aged white female, I have to agree with you. Sorry you had such troubles. Good luck going forward.

  2. Sam says:

    I doubt if they realize it, but American women are slowly pricing themselves out of the market for a husband. Why would a decent looking American male with one ounce of gumption want a loser white american woman who is just gonna crap on him when he can have a beautiful foreign babe who will treat him like a king? I’ve dated plenty of foreign women and in terms of basic, common human decency, they are much better than white american females.

  3. Bill Jones says:

    I’m a mid-30s white American male, good looking, thin, highly educated with a PhD and great job and I came to the exact same conclusions as this author. However, it took me well into my 20s to realize it. As a result, I married a hot, thin, educated and extremely NICE Chinese woman and we now have a wonderful marriage and baby together. While there are exceptions, young, white American girls make crappy wives and partners. My sister is an example and she’s on her second divorce. Something is going on with the young, white female population in AMerica and it isn’t good at all for women or for men. I call it the Entitled White Female Mentality.

  4. I agree with your thoughts on the emotional DWArFs. You can add several words for the “R,” ridiculous, reprehensible, repulsive, ect. These young spoiled brats are the worst. They think because they are attractive (mostly in their own opinion) that they can do anything they want and should be catered to. But because most people do cater to the beautiful people, they come to expect that treatment. I often find it amusing when a DWArF thinks she is hotter than she is (usually as she ages to 30) and then bemoans how people no longer treat her as she expects. However by 40 these DWArFs are now invisible to most men, and after life “checks their privilege” then they occasionally learn that humility and sometimes regain their humanity. I have traveled abroad and the women in europe are much different in personality. They seem kinder, less “it’s all about me!” Heck I helped a college girl in Bologna, Italy pick up her groceries after her bag split. She thanked me with a kiss! Imagine that from a DWArF! I had more than one occasion in Germany when girls would come up to me (while I was wearing ear buds no less) and want to talk to me. On a train to Florence, a girl chatted me up and gave me her number, She was warm and friendly and even wanted to help show me around. Imagine a DWArF meeting a foreigner and volunteering to act as a tour guide. Not likely.

  5. Human says:

    DWAFs reflect the culture they grew up in. Take a moment to consider what it might be like to be a girl, subject to a multitude of demands and expectations, some that are gender specific and many that are contradictory, and add to that the natural vulnerabilities of being young and female. An exploration and discussion on the aspects of American culture that perpetuate or reinforce DWAF characteristics would be interesting.

  6. Richard says:

    If American women continue with this behavior, American men will give up on them. There will be no stable family system here in america. Without a family there is nothing for a man to care for or defend, it will be the collapse of the nation.

  7. Jimmy says:

    Great article. I’m a 43yo Brazilian male living in the USA for over 15 years. Through observation, I’ve reached the exact same conclusions and also have my own theories. In the beginning I used to think it was just me, but eventually I noticed most foreigners and American men share the same views. This goes really deep. I’m grateful to be Brazilian and know truly feminine, warm and loving women. Even though I’ve met some exceptions, it ALWAYS get to a point when I think “oh, she’s American”. Too bad.

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