A personal gripe about being a moral person in America

One of the things that has stunned me as I get older is how moral of a person I am.  To me, this was natural.  It had nothing to do with religion.  I was not brought up in a religious family nor was I brought up in a religious atmosphere.  In fact, religion was always looked at with scepticism and avoided when I was growing up.  But, yet, I have become very moral.  As I talk to people I’m amazed how moral I was compared to other people.  Everywhere I turn I see examples of people who did immoral things I would never even considered doing.  These are relatives, friends, people I work with.  I can’t believe it.  There are times when I feel like I’m the only person who is moral in the whole US.  More than once have I thought there was something wrong with me.  How could I be the only one?  This can’t be right.

And what has always pissed me off is that I was always treated like crap by people, especially girls.  People wouldn’t associate with me that much.  I was often ridiculed and treated like a naïve ‘child’.  As I watch it, year after year, I can see that it’s like I need to be immoral to be liked by people. 

Maybe I should start to cuss and swear more?  That’s what all the ‘in’ guys do.

Maybe I should start to be a womanizer?  Then the girls would think I was ‘hot’.

How can this be?  It’s hard for me to believe that being a moral person would have such an impact on social relations.  I still am struggling with this fact, it’s so unbelievable.  How can this be?

This fact seems most profound with the female.  A ‘moral guy’ seems to scare the American female away.  They don’t want anything to do with you.  But they’ll flock around the guy whose only motive is to get in their pants.

All this, I think, is very revealing about the American character.  Some of aspects of this character are:

–          For one, it shows that this is a hedonistic society, a society of ‘seeking pleasure’.   The person who ‘seeks pleasure’ (that is, the immoral person) is the favored one.  A ‘moral person’ is boring and dull (that’s what they think, anyways).  Those people aren’t worth talking to.

–          It shows that this is not a society of upholding oneself.  It’s not a society of discipline.  It’s not a society of maturity.  It’s not a society of human growth.

–          A lot of these points of view they have are based on preconceived notions.  In fact, America has a lot of myths about morality which are mostly wrong.  There are so many myths about morality that they’ve lost hold of what it even means anymore.

–          I think, also, that being moral actually scares Mr. America.  I know from personal experience that it frightens them, though they wouldn’t admit to that.  There are many times when it appears that this reflects how a lot of Americans are actually trying to flee life.  Morality means to confront life and face it.  It means to grow up.  It means to be somebody.  It’s easier for Mr. America to sit home and watch TV.

There are times that I feel like I’m being punished be being a moral person.  It actually feels like that sometimes.  Why would I be punished though? 

All this makes me wonder . . . about morality . . . and what it is.

I think, though, that the issue isn’t about morality but about the American character and the historic events that led to this.  The nature of morality, it seems, isn’t that much of an issue here.

I can see that a lot of this is a result of post WWII America and the events that took place there.  Some of these events include:

–          The rise of commercialism that led to the hedonistic tendency.  Mr. America is now continually bombarded with stuff to ‘please’ him.  Naturally, that’s all he wants now.

–          The rebellion against authority led to despising anything relating to authority, such as morality and upholding yourself.

–          The effect of alienation and disassociation with ones roots and beliefs that took place in this era.

–          The combination of the above events, as well as other factors, that weakened the American character. 

These events created a generation that was remarkably different from the generations preceding it.  This created disputes and disagreements between the older generations and the new generation.  From the new generation point of view the older Victorian generations were conservative, dull, boring, too controlling, too moral, and such.  In my life, I could see that I was often treated with contempt as if I were from these older generations.  From this point of view I could see the newer generation’s behaviour from the ‘outside’ as I was perceived as being outside their group.  I was of the new generation but treated like I was from the older generation.  I was ‘half in-half out’, so to speak.

After years of observation I will say that the older Victorian society was far better than anything the newer generation created despite all their ‘hoopla’ about how great they are.  A big point about the new generation’s mentality is that of ‘waiting’.  Since they are hedonistic, they are always ‘waiting for a new thing to dazzle them’.  There is also little effort to develop oneself as a person . . . and, if there is, it’s hedonistically based (like doing some ‘fun’ activity).  They have no authority figure or real social structure.  As for morality . . . well, we know all that.  I think it’s a lower grade of society myself.

And so, being treated bad for being moral by these people is like an insult to me.  This has been particularly true knowing where all this comes from.  It’s like a great insult from a want-to-be people.  

Maybe Mr. America ought to grow up abit?

This entry was posted in Life in general, Modern life and society, Personal gripes, Stuff involving me, The U.S. and American society and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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