Thoughts on ‘coming to terms’ with things in life

It seems to me that a lot of life is coming to terms with things.  It takes a lot of our time and energy, though it may not seem like it.  It effect’s how we think, what we do, and the choices we make.  It ends up effecting who we become as people.  That is how important it is.   Most people think ‘coming to terms’ is in response to a specific situation in life.  I feel it is more than that.  In many ways, this process very much encompasses life.  Like tentacles, it reaches out and effect’s almost every aspect of life . . . all the way to the core of our being.

First of all, this coming to terms is very deep and requires a process of ‘realization’ to accomplish.  This means that we need to go through stages of ‘acceptance’ – the coming to terms.  This takes time to do.  As such, it is really a process that can take a few days, perhaps, to a few months, to a life time.  This process can be very painful and difficult at times, requiring great effort to deal with.  Sometimes it’s hardly noticeable. 

Because of this process of ‘acceptance’ it is a big factor in our growth and in making us grow as people and human beings.  The slow process helps us become patient, especially with ourselves, and gives us a humility, that things just don’t happen the way we want.  This makes the process of coming to terms very important in our life.  But it also means that we need to be open to it.  We cannot gain from it if we do not open ourselves to it.  This means its good to be aware of its existence in our lives.

There are many forms of things we need to come to terms with:

–          Life brings with it many phases that require this process of coming to terms.  These often include life changing events, such as adolescence, marriage, getting a job, moving out of the house, old age, etc.   They can also involve just events that happen from time to time.

–          Life brings with it many conflicts as well.  These can range from major to minor in their effects.  As a result, there is a lot of variation in how a person comes to terms here.

–          I have always felt that existence is somewhat traumatic to us deep down, some more than others.  Consciousness and being aware – existing – is a great burden and a great shock to us.  My opinion is that many of us are struggling just to come to terms with existence.  This, of course, is a life long and endless process.  Frankly, it is never resolved.  I have always felt that religion, and things revolving around life, reflect this process of coming to terms and are meant to try to help us resolve it in a healthy way.

It seems that we are all in a multitude of subjects that we need to come to terms with all the time.  No matter where we are in life, our situation, or condition, we are always in a process of coming to terms with something.  In a way, it creates the dynamics of life, causing great passion and liveliness.  It also makes us all a little ‘unsettled’ deep inside, as we are always in a process of resolving something.  As such, it greatly colors life and its resolution helps create great satisfaction and meaning in life.

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