Thoughts on the ‘false calm’ – learning to live with oneself

I have found that many people seem to be calm people.  This has always made me skeptical.  Something always told me that this is not quite what it appears.

From my experience ‘calm’ is more than a calming of emotions, a quiet that someone has.  Most of the time, this is nothing but a state of emotion people have, like being happy, sad, or depressed.  In that sense, it is just one of the many states that make up a person.  As such, because a person has ‘calm’ moments certainly does not make them ‘calm’ people. 

I’ve heard of many people speak of ‘finding peace’ or of a ‘quiet within’ and so on.  For many people this ‘calm’ or ‘peace’ is really a denial of a large part of themselves.  Sure, I can be calm, if I ignore all the bad stuff about myself.  Many people find this ‘calm’ by training themselves to ignore the ‘uncalm’ things about themselves.  This, in my opinion, is not ‘calm’ but a ‘false calm’, a transitory calm that a person feels, that does not reflect their whole self. 

Often a ‘false calm’ is a product of mistaken notions about oneself, of trying to be something they’re not.  There is a tendency to live in a fantasy world.  Here, in this fantasy, life is rosy.  It is any wonder they are ‘calm’ . . . they live in a make believe world where there wants are satisified.  This, though, is not a ‘calm’ but a ‘false calm’.

To me, ‘calm’ is a condition that encompasses your whole being.  It is a product of experience.  This is something that is achieved over a long period of time.  In many respects, ‘calm’ is a display of how a person knows themselves and can accept themselves for who they are.  It also entails a confidence in who they are.  This includes the confidence created when a person knows of their weaknesses and failings. 

To be ‘calm’, in this sense, requires a person to have plenty of experience in being ‘uncalm’.  How else can a person find out about themselves?  This means that people being ‘uncalm’ may not be what it seems.  In reality, they may be in the process of learning to be calm for they may be learning about themselves.  This is part of the process of learning about oneself. 

The ‘calm’, it seems to me, requires a number of qualities.  These include:

–   Discipline.  A person must have experience with and be practicing discipline of the ‘uncalm’ aspects about themselves. 

–   Acceptance.  This refers to how we must accept certain facts about ourselves, our failings, and our faults.  We accept our limitations and we live within those limitations.

–   Living with who you are.  Here we must live with all the knowledge about ourselves, good and bad, and make a life out of it.  In many ways, this is what makes the ‘calm’.  Its also not as easy as it sounds though. 

In many ways, being ‘calm’ is the culmination of what knowledge, religion, discipline, culture, etc. is all about.  The ‘calm’ is a product of a sound and healthy life of someone who knows who they are.  It is from the ‘calm’, it seems to me, that happiness and contentment is most felt and appreciated.  Its from this state that they are embraced most whole heartily.

This entry was posted in Contemplation, monastacism, shamanism, spirituality, prayer, and such, Life in general, Psychology and psychoanalysis, Religion and religious stuff and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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