The main solution to the ‘rift personality’ and oversensitivity is management

It seems to me that the main way to deal with oversensitivity and the ‘rift personality’ is in management.  In the ‘rift personality’ this comes naturally, in the form of the ‘crib reflex’ as I call it, of naturally putting yourself in comfortable surroundings.  By doing so stimuli and sensations are put into a reasonable and comfortable level. 

This method, though, only goes so far.  There’s a point where a person must actively do something, of deliberately making change.  How does one do this?

In order to manage the stimuli a person needs to know about themself.  Perhaps thats the real issue:  how does one learn about themself?  But, more importantly, a person must know how to manage themself once they find out about themselves.  Here’s some thoughts:

–   Remember that this takes time.   Watching and learning about yourself doesn’t happen in a day but it is a long ongoing process.

–   Have a humble perspective of yourself.  Don’t think you are more powerful than you are. 

–   Watch what one does and how one reacts to various situations.

–   Accept that some situations are not easy and leave it at that.

–   Watch how you react with respect to oversensitivity.  That is to say, look at things as an ‘oversensitive situation’ and that you are an oversensitive person.

–   Develop a perception or picture of how you are as a person.  That is to say, integrate the traits you discover into your perception of who you are so they create an overall picture of your character. 

–   Once you learn something, use it, and avoid oversensitive situations.

–   Learn to forsee potential oversensitive situations based on your experience.

–   Don’t make a big deal if you become oversensitive.  It seems that when you watch yourself you tend to see more of what you do.  As a result, things often appear bigger than they really are.

–   Keep yourself in a comfortable environment, with minimal stimuli, often (what I jokingly call the ‘crib’).  Learn to find and appreciate this situation. 

–   Test yourself from time to time, to see how much oversensitivity you can take.

Most of management seems to consist in avoidance or putting yourself in a position of reduced stimuli.  There is nothing bad in this.  Many people avoid certain situations for a number of reasons.  Many occupations, for example, are not chosen because people do not want to be in the situation the occupation requires (such as having to go through the ordeal of college, or being stressed out, etc.), regardless of how much it pays.  It’s really no different than that.

When a person is having to avoid a very oversensitive situation I often describe this as ‘seeking seclusion’.  This means there’s a deliberate attempt to ‘get away’ from the oversensitive situation and keep the stimuli down.  I spent a big part of my late 20’s and early 30’s ‘in seclusion’, basically being by myself.  I now know that it was to keep myself away from oversensitive situations that I was feeling in life at the time.  It is good to ‘seek seclusion’ if you need it but not to maintain it unnecessarily. 

In many respects, the simple ‘shying away’, of turning your head away (that you often see with shy people) is a mild and temporary form of ‘seeking seclusion’, as its a deliberate attempt to get away from an oversensitive situation.  But, to me, ‘seeking seclusion’ is something that lasts a long period of time, months and years.  It becomes a lifestyle, really.  When this happens it sets the person apart from everyone else.  They are no longer living like everyone else.  This can lead to alienation and abandonment.  The point being that the avoidance of stimuli, if taken too far, can lead to more problems for a person.  This means that a big part of management is knowing not to go too far.

This entry was posted in Oversensitivity, the 'rift personality', shyness, love shyness, and Asperger's, Psychology and psychoanalysis and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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