The first part of the dream I don’t remember. I was at some playground somewhere. It seemed to be one of those indoor ones, the kind you have to pay to get in. I was with some people. I first remember going down a tube slide. I hit the bottom and found a small chrome colored toy revolver (like of a .38). It was in good condition so I decided to take it. I looked up and noticed that I had to crawl through a small tube which made me go ‘ugh’ as crawling around was beginning to hurt my knees. The next I recall is coming out into a room and being with the people I was with. In the room a performance was going on, sort of like a play. We were standing at the very back. Everyone else was seated. I kept getting my gun and flipping it around. A thought occurred to me: “What if someone thought this was a real gun? This is America, you know, the land of paranoia.” But, despite that, I continued to flip the gun around. A little while later a man came up and talked to one of the guys I was with. He pointed to me. I guessed he wanted to know about the gun so I showed him that it was just a toy that I found. He went away. I sort of smiled to myself.
(This dream shows a reference to how I feel that I am misinterpreted and my awareness that I am misinterpreted. The tendency for me to be misinterpreted is so bad that I, at one point, had a fear of being misinterpreted. I would go through great lengths to try to not be misinterpreted. Just the other day I was misinterpreted again. It’s a feeling I don’t like – people putting words in my mouth or intentions in my actions that are not there. The children’s playground and toy gun seem to represent how all this is ‘small’ stuff that is misinterpreted. That is to say, the misinterpretation is over minor things. The toy gun is a toy, nothing ‘serious’. My struggling through the tubes reflect how I struggle with this feeling. The play represents society, as everyone is there watching it. My being apart shows that, in a way, I feel removed from society and that this is a prelude to my being misinterpreted. My knowing that the gun will be taken as real shows that I am aware of my tendency to be misinterpreted as when I am misinterpreted I feel sort of ‘ostracised’. The man coming up shows that this is true. It seems to show that there’s nothing I can do about it. In many ways, this dream shows a feeling of being helpless to misinterpretation and that I cannot do anything about it. It also shows how it makes me feel ‘ostracized’ and removed from everyone when it happens.)