The question of female low self-esteem keeps propping up. I see it all the time, and its various representations and forms. Not only that, it seems to infiltrate a lot of what females do, think, and behave. It’s for this reason that I feel that it is innate, a part of the female character. This led me to inquire about it.
I tend to feel that their low esteem originates from two qualities in the female which I call the ‘partial mind’ and the ‘principle of the other’. Both of these compliment and support each other. Both of these themes revolve around child-bearing and the ‘motherly instinct’ in the female. To put it simply, the ‘motherly instinct’ in the female makes the female feel incomplete. This is because, inherent in the ‘mother instinct’, is the fact that the child is a part of them, as if it was an extension of themselves. This means that there is a sense in them that something is ‘missing’ – the child. By accepting the child as part of themselves, in mothering, they become ‘complete’ and are able to display the ‘motherly love’ that is unique to the female. But, regardless of this, the sense of incompleteness is always in the back of their mind. This feeling of incompleteness makes it so they have something like a ‘partial mind’, so to speak, because it’s not complete. The incompleteness of their mind is made ‘whole’ by someone else – the child. This quest to fill their ‘partial mind’ makes is so they NEED an ‘other’ – the child – to fill it. This is the ‘principle of the other’. As a result, the female is always needing and looking for this ‘other’ to complete themselves. Because of this continual sense of incompleteness, and struggle to be ‘complete’, it has a tendency to create a feeling of low self-esteem. This means that the ‘mother instinct’ within the female predisposes the female to low self-esteem. Because this sense is innate within the female, and part of her makeup, she tends to ‘project’ it onto the world. By so doing it becomes very influential in how she perceives, relates, and interprets the world. It causes a number of effects such as:
- It makes them feel incomplete.
- It makes them ‘have to have’ or need someone else, which makes them feel dependent on someone else.
- This need for ‘someone else’ also makes them develop a slavish mentality, blindly following other people and society.
- It makes them feel vulnerable.
- It makes them feel weak.
- It makes them feel ‘hurt’ or ‘damaged’ in some way.
The end result of all this is a tendency to low self-esteem. Some girls will struggle with this quite extensively. Some girls will not struggle with it much at all. But most girls will display it in some form. In many ways, this low self-esteem is one of the qualities of the feminine character and which often makes the female appealing to the male. A good example is the females almost obsessive “needing” of someone which is a quality many males are attracted to (though it can get on some guys nerves as well).
This low self-esteem often makes females do a number of things such as:
- They often need to find someone to blame for their problems (that is, for their low self-esteem).
- They often complain about everything under the sun.
- They become ‘moody’ and difficult.
- They are easily hurt.
- They become obsessive about certain things.
- They become ‘addicted’ to the cell phone and other things associated with associating with other people.
- They become slavish to many things, killing themselves to ‘follow’ the latest trend or do what everyone else is doing.
- It makes many females develop a ‘non-genuine’ quality. That is, they are not themselves nor are they who they really are. As a result, it develops in them a sense of alienation.
- They develop a whole “religion” about how they have been abused and victimized since the beginning of time (such as is seen with the feminists).
- In recent times, females have tried to find ways to ‘flee’ their femininity (such as in trying to be man-like). This, also, helps in their sense of alienation.
- If they feel ‘taken advantage of’ or ‘hurt’ in some way, they will often seek revenge quite fiercely, often like it was a crusade or something.
In effect, their low self-esteem tends to make females sort of neurotic-like. This, really, is one of the qualities that make up the feminine character. In some females, though, it can be pathological. In other females an annoyance. And in other females a strength. It all depends on how they react to it and deal with it.
Much of the life of the female, nowadays, is actually based in fighting their low self-esteem. This has become particularly critical because the modern world has done great damage to the purpose, worth, and meaning of the female (as it has done with the male). This loss of meaning has caused, it seems to me, a great increase in the low self-esteem of the female. As a result, we are seeing great attempts at trying to deal with it. Some common ways they try to fight their low self-esteem include:
- Being a “slave” to trend, conventions, and various other things. Because of the rise of ‘social media’ recently, it has caused a great upsurge of this tendency in the female, as a source of ‘relieving’ their low self-esteem.
- By displaying ‘exaggerated femininity’. They take the female traits to the extreme.
- Fleeing into manhood and trying to like a man. This can be so bad that they will act, look, and try to display the qualities that they think a man is (which is generally wrong).
- By glorification of the female. This can get so bad that they will develop something like a “religion of the female”, about how great she is and all that.
The attempts on the part of the female to solve their self-esteem has, in my opinion, predominately failed. Many of their attempts only hides their low self-esteem and often makes it worse. Much of what I see appears like an illusion that they are creating around themselves. A reason why it has failed may be a result of the basic nature of this problem. Remember that their intent is to ‘fill their partial mind with the other’. This, therefore, is the natural inclination to its solution which they are trying to do. They tend to do this in an attitude of ‘complete slavishness’ though. This is because their whole emphasis tends to be toward the ‘other’, almost exclusively, without regard for anything else. As a result, it typically does not contain any wisdom or insight. It gives the ‘female solution’ a quality of blind impulsiveness and reaction more than anything else. As a result, they are not very effective.
I see female low esteem as a continually appearing problem for a number of reasons:
- It is naturally appearing. This means there is no ‘solution’ in general.
- The effects of the modern world. These have accentuated the condition and, in some cases, exaggerated it.
- The continued failed attempts by the female to deal with it.
We must remember that, because it is naturally appearing and naturally existing, it means that it does not disappear. It’s always there. The only ‘solution’ appears to be:
- To ‘live with it’.
- To ‘put its existence to use’.
These seem to be the techniques used by the females of centuries past. Not only that, it is these facts that have, in a way, defined the female character and life all through history. But, these two qualities are hampered nowadays for a number of reasons:
- Females seem to have a harder time accepting themselves today. Many females seem to condemn their femininity, or are worshipping their femininity, or flee into manhood. Many are beginning to live lives that has nothing to do with the feminine character at all (like being a CEO of a company). All these describe an inability to live with who they are.
- Many females have become misguided by what a female is and think its something it’s not.
- There’s no culture to give the female her place, purpose, and meaning in the world. It is the culture, with its customs, that puts the female ‘energy’ and character to good use. Now, they are as if ‘left out in cold’.
What this means is that I do not see any improving of this condition soon.