A dream about being charged with murder and fleeing the law

The beginning of the dream is vague.  I was in a wooded area running.  I was avoiding people and being seen.  Apparently, I supposedly committed a murder and I was charged with it.  Because of this, they were after me.  Several things happened which I don’t remember.  It seemed that I met the father of the person I was supposed to of murdered.  I told him I didn’t do it.  He seemed calm and didn’t try to have me arrested, which surprised me.  We were next to a river when this happened, next to a bridge.  I crossed over the river.  There was a public swimming pool over there and I felt like swimming.  I went in and swam.  I was the only one in there.  Soon, though, people began to appear.  They were people who were somehow associated with the murder.  I was stunned no one turned me in or tried to have me arrested.  More people appeared.  They started to lay these markers in the swimming pool.  I knew what they were.  They were the locations where the people were killed.  Apparently, I was supposed to of murdered a number of people in this pool.  Then they set up desks, with microphones.  I knew I was going to be interviewed for the murders.  It might even be a hearing . . . while I was in the pool where the people were killed!  I thought the place was now surrounded and I wouldn’t be able to get out.  I strolled out of the pool and went along a hallway to the doorway.  Surprisingly, it was not guarded.  I knew this was it.  Did I want to flee or not?  Either I could go in there, where I will surely be arrested and put on trial, or flee.  If I flee I will be spending my life dodging the law.  Which did I want to do?  The next thing I knew I was outside next to the swimming pool.  It was like a park.  I could see people looking for me.  I hid by lying down on the ground in the dirt where they plant flowers.  Amazingly, they never saw me.  I recall that there was a kid there who somehow helped me.  I don’t recall the details though.

(This dream so bothered me that I woke up in the middle of the night.  I think it was about 2:30 a.m.  When I got up in the morning it still bothered me and I was mystified by it.  I wondered what it was about.  While driving to work, I reflected on it.  It seems a continuation of the feeling I was feeling last night.  Basically, I felt a frustration.  I felt a ‘yearning’ or ‘longing’ that seemed unsatisfied.  I felt ‘trapped’ in life, in the confines of its existence.  But what I ‘yearned’ for went beyond that.  It felt like a great tug-of-war.  The normal response to a ‘fleeing the law’ is that I feel ‘guilty’ in some way, particularly from a psychoanalyctical sense.  That’s what I thought here but nothing seemed to fit.  I didn’t seem to feel that way.  I’ve noticed, many times, that these dreams, of ‘fleeing the law’ often refer to a frustrated yearning or want.  The ‘fleeing’ represents the yearning, the want.  The ‘law being after me’ represents my frustration and the feelilng of entrapment that this causes.  It’s like saying, “I yearn for something but something prevents me”.  This theme also has origins with an episode of the Twilight Zone I saw last night where a guy trades his soul for everlasting life.  He tries to get killed but nothing can kill him.  He says that there is nothing exciting about life anymore.  His wife happens to fall off the roof of a building so he thinks that it would be exciting if they try to electrocute him.  He calls the police and they arrest him, but his lawyer gets the sentence changed from death to life imprisonment . . . but he made a deal with the devil to have everlasting life.  He then asks the devil to cause his death so he doesn’t have to live in prison.  In many ways, this story is similar to the dream and my feelings last night.  I yearn for more but something prevents me:  it isn’t exciting.  I feel trapped by this inability to fulfill my yearning:  life imprisonment.  The pool reminds me of an outdoor pool that I saw the other day that I didn’t know was there.  I’ve been to the indoor pool but not the outdoor pool.  It must be new.  I remarked that I should go there.  This seems to hint that the pool refers to ‘something new’ which is a reference to yearning again.  It’s a reference to where I would like to go.  Its really not surprising that the ‘pool scene’ plays a big part in this dream, a dream of yearning, since that’s what it refers to.  All the happenings at the pool, I think, refer to the frustration (my future arrest).  The pool, then, becomes a symbol for the yearning and the frustration.  As a result, I escape.  This escape represents the yearning again.  My hiding in the dirt reminds me of a number of movies I’ve seen recently which had people camouflaged in conspicous places – you would of never suspected they were there.  In this, really, is the secret to the frustration.  In my yearning – the ‘fleeing’ – I camouflaged myself so I could not be seen by the frustration – the ‘law’.  This, I know, refers to the fact that I am tired of myself and my ‘reality’.  I mentioned this even last night.  The cause of the frustration, then, is that I am ‘stuck’ in my reality, in my ‘concrete’ perception of myself and my ‘world’.  This ‘concrete reality’ prevents the yearning from manifesting itelf fully.  In effect, I am a ‘prisoner’ of my own perception of myself and the world.  This is what the dream is about.  The child, I feel, represents me as a child.  In the past few day, I have thought a lot about my childhood.  I said that this interest is not in the sense of someone getting older, but more of a desire to “reconnect” with my past.  In other words, it refers to a ‘failing’ of my present self as-is and the sense that, deep inside, I need to bring up an aspect of myself that lies hidden.  I know that it is there but I need to look for it.  And so the dream is like saying:  “I am yearning for something but it is never fullfilled.  I am always frustrated because I am stuck in how I am, of how I perceive myself and the world.  Deep down, though, I know that there is something that will help me get out of this dilemma but I don’t know where it is”.)

This entry was posted in Dreams and their interpretation, Psychology and psychoanalysis, Stuff involving me and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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