Feeling the presence, a great weight squashes me
my self fades, the pain of the FACT makes it mark
the great myriad images of life recede, passing away in the midst
and the truth . . . yes! . . . that great exclamation!
it overpowers me with its piercing blade, hitting my inmost self
and that great face hovering over me . . .
smiling? . . . angry? . . . I cannot say
it presses down upon me, pushing itself upon my realness
I know! I know! . . . it is there!
Oh, the squashing . . . it makes me yelp
I can see, beyond the yellow glimmer of the sky
I feel it too . . . it pulls me . . . the beyond!
casting my eye on that distant land I know . . .
oh, it seems so far from me but . . .
oh, it is so close . . .
I just need to grasp it!
If only my hands could reach out and grasp . . .
and caress . . . to hold close to me the treasure that lies before me
oh, such despair . . . I stand lacking . . . always lacking
wretched world, giving me such pangs of woe . . . be gone with you!
but, a secret I know, that I dare not reveal
. . . such blessed hidden truths I dare not taint
. . . nor cast its glow in the ruff
a revealing I shall speak . . . and I speak the truth
the grasping I do not, but the possessing and carassing I do
. . . all the day long . . . hidden in the secret world
do you not believe? . . .
I shall tell you . . . I keep it in my breast!
there it lives . . . and breathes its life!
there I have given it a home and give it its keep
there I let it shimer its great delight
there I let it be
oh great distant land, embrace me as I embraced you
let your life surround my simple soul!
(This descriptive reflection is a reference to a number of things:
- The ‘presence of god’ . . . . or ‘life’, if you prefer . . . which cannot be grasped.
- It also refers to the struggle of the ‘great yearning’, the desire for life, and how we often seem to fall short.
- It also refers to how ‘god’ or ‘life’ is experienced most profoundly in a different state of mind, as the ‘distant land’ refers to this different state of mind.
- It also refers how there is often pain as a result of the ‘war between the states of mind’, for one state of mind must, in a sense, “die” before the other is experienced.
- It refers to how the ‘experience’ of ‘god’ or ‘life’ take on a ‘secret’ association.
- It also shows how the ’embracing’ of ‘god’ or ‘life’ consists of ‘letting it be within you’, so to speak.)