I was sitting on a rock in the middle of a stream. I looked up at the sky, as I often do when I feel the ‘presence’, and closed my eyes. I had this shamanistic ‘journey’ dream. The dream was unusual, though, in that it did not seem very deep. I seemed very ‘awake’ and conscious at the time.
“I saw myself fly away from myself and as if fly into the blackness. I sensed the ‘father’ there, who I sometimes call the ‘King’. There, in the sky, I saw a throne or chair that he was sitting on. I went up to him and hugged him and felt this great love. He got up and got out of the chair and motioned for me to get on the chair. I was apprehensive. Why would I be allowed to sit upon the chair? I finally sat on it and almost immediately I looked out and something like a tunnel seemed to form in front of me and bend downwards. I felt a great suction, as if I was being pulled down. I was sucked down the tunnel and fell down it. Then I seemed to as if find myself floating in mid-air, neither falling or moving. I saw nothing but a light gray about me with small pinpricks of different colors here and there in amidst the gray. From my mouth I said something to this effect: “In the ‘all’ of the ‘father’ everything is eternal sameness, a continual repetition of the same cycles over and over again” and I thought of the seasons, day/night, and life/death. With this, I felt a horrible sense, of ‘all’, of ‘sameness’, which frightened me, and which seemed to be squashing me. It was as if my self was going to disintegrate and ‘merge’ into this ‘all’. I then looked down and saw the surface of the earth and could as if see the seasons and days go by, one after another, endlessly. I thought, “what a horrible sight . . . it is all the same”. I saw that all our little concerns and affairs in life are like nothing, a small insignificant event in the overall events of things . . . the eternal cycles. I did not think I could bare sitting on this chair anymore. It was just too much. I then opened my eyes.”
This dream refers to the ‘father in nature’. I was taught, in my ‘journey’ dreams, that there is a ‘mother’ and ‘father’ quality in nature, that they are separate and compliment one another. Though we may portray them as a mother and a father, as I did in dream above, they are actually qualities in nature, that reflect certain traits in life. The are in all things all around us and in life.
As I look at it over the years, I was basically told that the ‘father’ has specific qualities which include:
- Life-as-a-force is found in the ‘father’. He is the source and energy of life.
- The ‘all’ of existence is found in the ‘father’.
- The ‘father’ expects us to do things and discover things for ourselves.
Because the ‘father’ is associated with the ‘all’ and ‘life’ he is assocated with existence overall. As a result, we always tend to speak of overall existence (that is, god) as if it were a father. Also, because he is associated with the ‘all’ and ‘life’ he is also considered the great authority of life. The ‘great god’ is almost always viewed as a father. This is how it is practially all over the world since the beginning of time. Even when he is considered to be ‘above male and female’, he is still spoken of as if he were a father. This shows that the all of existence, life, and authority are associated with the image of the father.
The ‘mother’ in life, on the other hand, has qualities which include:
- The transformations of life are found in the ‘mother’. She changes life from one form to another.
- The specifics and details of life are found in the ‘mother’.
- The ‘mother’ generally does things for us and doesn’t necessarily expect us to do anything.
Because the ‘mother’ does not have the life and all of existence she is seldom spoken of with great authority, except in certain specific matters, such as birth. This perspective is worldwide since the beginning of time.
One of the dilemmas of the ‘mother’ is that she does not contain life, but changes it. This, really, is a representation of birth. It creates a dilemma in the femalehood as, because the female does not contain life, they are always ‘seeking’ it, wanting it from somewhere else. As a result, they are always ‘lacking’ in some way, making them always feel in want. They are always needing the ‘life’ of someone else. Once I learned this, I looked out in the world and noticed that it explained a lot of female behaviour and dilemma’s.
Overall, this ‘journey’ dream refers to my becoming closer to the ‘father’ in life. As I get closer to the ‘father’ this dream shows how the ‘all’ is very apparent in his makeup and traits. The whole dream is a reference to the fear of the ‘all’ and how it seemed to be squashing me. I felt as if I was going to be obliterated. It scared me.
In the dream it was as if he let me sit in his chair or throne, something not meant for people. He let me do this, it seems, out of my great love for him as he let me do this after I hugged him. It seemed that I saw the world – existence – as he saw it, as a perpetual sameness of cycles. This so frightened me that I could not bear it, causing me to open my eyes.
What’s interesting with this, as with all shamanistic things, is that I “participated” with the ‘gods’, so to speak. A person actively associates with them. This is a trait of shamanistic ‘journey’ dreams. I can see someone saying, “yeah, so you’re saying you saw and associated with god???”
Well, it is true.
But we must remember that we all do. In life we all ‘actively’ associate with god, which is really life. Anyone who ‘lives’ associates with god. I once said that if someone has children then a person has had active association with the ‘mother’ in life, so to speak. If they hadn’t then they would not of had any children. It didn’t appear in a representational way, though, as is was in my shamanistic ‘journey’ dream, but it is a form of association. What this shows is that there are many forms of active association. In a way, we could say there are two forms of association:
- The ‘active’ association. This refers to things that we do or happen to us in life.
- The ‘image’ association. This refers to the images or representations we formulate in our minds.
To see ‘god’ in the ‘active’ world, though, requires an ‘image’ association. In the end, any “known” association with ‘god’ or life requires an image or representation. This means that we need some representation to see ‘god’ in the ‘active’ world. When we don’t we just see an “event” happen in our life . . . and that’s it. We must remember that ‘god’ is known through representation. We must have a representation of ‘god’ to make him be.
If you look, and have the mind and representation for it, you will find ‘god’ there in front of you now, staring you in the face. For example, I am here writing this . . . but am I? Could I not say that a ‘god’ is sitting behind me inspiring me to write? In so doing, though, I turned it into a representation, much like a ‘journey’ dream, for there is no ‘scientific evidence’ that a god is there. But its a representation of a happening, of something I am doing, meaning that I am actively associating with him. And so, accepting this perspective this representation is true, as life – god – is inspiring me to write. And so, just writing this, I am having an ‘active’ participation with god – life . . . but I have to accept that point of view. He is there “guiding my hand”, so to speak. Because of this, ‘gods’ are in all things we do, think, and that happen to us. I could even go on to say that “when I breathe it is not I that breathes but god”. There is truth in that . . . if you so want to look at things that way, an association by representation, and a ‘journey’ dream is a form of association-by-representation. It is a representation of an association with ‘god’ or life in image form.
I should point out that I do not believe that the ‘journey’ dreams are ‘real’, in the sense of dealing with ‘actual’ beings, but that they are representations of awarenesses within us. What’s “real” is the fact of what they represent. Since awarenesses are ‘real’ there is a ‘realness’ with these dreams. And, because they involve an awareness that has a meaning, they have meaning. Because of this, the ‘images’ have a real quality. I often speak of this quality as the ‘living image’.
I have always emphasized that the important thing is the ‘passion’ and life behind it, and not its representation. A representation is just an image . . . passion is everything. I sometimes think this is the ‘father’ in me, emphasizing ‘life’ and the ‘all’, which means anything that is not life is not looked at too seriously, such as images and representations. This means that representations and images are just ‘stepping stones’ to passion and life. This fact must be understood.
This dream also refers to a quality found in the ‘father’ which I call the “father ordeal”. This generally is a requirement of us to face the ‘all’, or some representation of the power of existence, and do it on our own. It generally entails a destruction of our self in some way, which usually refers to a rebirth as well. For the male, this theme, in one form or another, is quite prevalent and common. Generally, it consists of some thing that must be done that is often considered frightening, or scary in some way. We hear of things like “take it like a man” or how guys have to “proove themselves” and such. They all refer to this ordeal. Most of these are social happenings, though, and tend to be superficial.
There is a deeper form of ordeal, that some of us do out of need and on a personal level. The ordeal referred to in the dream refers to this. It is how I must confront the ‘all’, and its squashing sameness, allowing my self to be obliterated. I can see that this ordeal will entail a gradual transformation of self over a long period of time. I can feel that, behind this, is a want for a new self, to become new. The dream above shows how it scares me and that I am hesitating.