A dream about feeling neglected and walking around downtown – the separation from oneself

I dreamt that I was at my grandma’s house with my brother and a relative of mine.  This relative pulled out some foreign currency and was going to give it to my brother.  I got infuriated and said something like, “What?!  Everyone knows I collect foreign currency . . . I’m the only one who does.  Why are you giving him the foreign currency when he doesn’t collect it?”  This made me really mad.  As I stormed out I thought I could see that she was thinking about at least giving me some.  The next thing I knew I was wandering around downtown, as I often do. 

(This dream bewildered me for hours.  Interestingly, I was planning on wandering around downtown the next day.  The past week has been a very stressful one and I wanted to wander around to ‘unwind’, as I often do.  As I travelled downtown, I found myself getting upset about things and annoyed.  I kept thinking about things about this society that I despised and how it didn’t represent me at all and that my own country is turning into a society that reflects no values I believe in.  All this thought hurt and caused a pain in me.  I felt like moving somewhere else.  I knew that this was really my ‘venting’ of the stress I have had this past week.  This is not uncommon for me to do.  It is a way for me to express an outlet of my frustrations.  Not only that, I knew it would happen.  It turns out that this ‘knowing’, or predicting, of what would happen is the cause of the dream.  In the dream I felt abondoned, forgotten, and neglected.  But, you see, that is actually what I am seeking when I ‘wander around’.  I used to always say that “I like to wander around downtown because I become like everyone else, a nobody, another face in the crowd”.  It is a way of ‘getting away’.  But, what perplexed me was the pain I felt in the dream, the pain of neglect and being forgotten.  Why did this appear?  I wanted to wander around to seek this sense of being ‘forgetten’ but in the dream it was like the opposite . . . it hurt.  After some time I knew why.  When I wander around I do more than wander around . . . I contemplate-like.  This requires a sense of separation from my self.  It’s not uncommon that this separation is painful and hurts.  In fact, almost all the time when I go hiking, wandering, or contemplating there is an initial phase of pain, of hurting as a prelude to contemplation.  This, as I said, is a result of separation of oneself.  Once this pain is overcome I feel ‘removed’ from myself and can contemplate and become productive.  The pain, in the dream, is a reference to the pain of separation I knew I would feel.  If I did not achieve this separation I would not ‘calm down’ that well.  The dream, then, is just an anticipation of this event.)

This entry was posted in Dreams and their interpretation, Psychology and psychoanalysis, Stuff involving me and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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