Recently, I did another experiment with what I call the “nature-as-living” images, which is where you allow your mind to see images naturally in response to things in nature. This particular experiment showed the appearance of ‘personal mythology’. By this, I mean a perception of how the world “works” that came from within me and which is not based in any religious belief or tradition.
I walked into a wonderful forested area I’ve never been before. It was almost magical. In one area, there were these large granite boulders amongst the tree’s. I marvelled at it. As I walked I “thought” I saw a boulder move and saw arms and legs underneath it, as if the boulder was a living creature and was moving, almost as if to reposition itself. These types of images often seem very real as if I actually saw it but, from experience, I know that they are only images that are created in my mind. This told me I was in a good state of mind to do the “nature-as-living” experiment.
There was a clearing that had this ‘something’ about it. I peared into it and, as I looked up, I saw a flash of something, an image. It was a man made out of rock who was in utter blackness. He was writhing about as in pain. After it disappeared I said, “what was that?” A part of me told me to look deeper. I focused my mind on the emotion the image evoked in me. I saw it again. I saw him moving about in pain as if trying to do something. I then said, out of nowhere, “it is the ‘primal being’ before all creation”. I knew what it was all about almost automatically, and here a personal mythology was created:
“In the beginning of time, in the great blackness of existence, a being was there. He sat in the blackness, alone, with nothing other than him and the blackness. And then, one day, he became fidgety and restless. He began to writh about and move as if to do something. He was alone. He moved and moved, his passion surged to such strength that . . . bamm! He exploded. His body spread out over all existence. From his body came the land and the material objects. Surrounding the remnants of his body his spirit resided. The union of small parts of his body and parts of his spirit created all the different forms of living things. But what few people know is that all living things are trying to reunite, to become one, to bring back the ‘primal being’ as one. Its a great irony. When the ‘primal one’ was whole he suffered from horrible loneliness, which is why he was in pain and exploded, but now that he has exploded into many bits we, who are pieces of him, are all lonely for him.”
This thought I never had before but, as with a lot of inspiration, it made complete sense, though I have no idea where it came from. As I progressed along this theme would appear in much of what followed.
I walked upstream where there was another similar area and I sat and concentrated on the ‘something’ I felt. I then looked up and noticed a smaller open area in the forest off to the side. I went over there and sat on a rock. To me leftward were several large boulders next to one another. For an instance I thought I saw a house there, or something. I then focused on this sense. I had this feeling as if there was a village about me. I soon felt, and could barely make out, a man coming toward me about 12″ tall. He seemed dressed in dark clothing but I never could make him out completely. His appearance was as a ghost, as if I could see through him, which is common with “nature-as-living” imags.
I focused my mind on this presence of a man. I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. And then, all of a sudden, I said, “oh, I’m sitting on something?” and I got off the rock and moved to the side. Apparently, he was telling me to move as I was on something. This type of sudden statments often happens with “nature-as-living” images, where I seem to react to something before I even know what it is. This is usually a sign, to me, of insight.
I then tried to focus on what happened. He seemed to say that there was something there like a god or some sacred thing. I then focused my mind on it and could see, in my mind, a vertical column. As I looked closer I saw it was of light. As I focused on it I seem to see as if creatures on the outside, as if reaching outward and rotating around the column. I said, “what is this pillar of light?” The man seemed to be talking to me but I kept saying, “I can’t make out what you’re saying”. I focused closer and could, as if, hear him speak and a new aspect of the mythology appeared:
“He said that this was a secret sacred area and that they protected this area. This pillar of light is one of the pure remnants of the ‘primal ones’ spirit. Though all living things are reflections of aspects of his spirit this light was his spirit pure and whole, unconnected with any matter. There are many places about the world where these exist and they are all hidden in secret areas. This is because there are creatures who would seek to take it and absorb it into themselves, keeping it from everyone else.”
I asked about why there would be certain creatures who would want to take this light since we all have the spirit of the ‘primal one’ within us. He said,
“As anyone can see, the creatures that have come about as a result of the union of the parts of his body and spirit are incredibly varied. This makes it so that some creatures have no care about the spirit. Some only minimially care. Some honor it. Some don’t even know about it. And then there are some who want it all for themselves. These latter ones are the ones we hide it from.”
I then glanced at the boulders behind him and saw that it was no house, but a temple, a temple to this pillar of light. From some strange reason I stood up and said that I wanted to get a rock and put it “in the temple” as a sign that I honor the pillar of light (why I wanted to do this I don’t know). I then walked into another area looking for that ‘special rock’. I found a rock on the ground and picked it up. As I picked it up a realization came over me: I have already made a ‘pledge’. I walked over to the man and said, “when I picked up this rock I realized that some time in the past, in a former self, I had already made a mark on the interior of the temple as a pledge . . . not this temple, but another one, in another place. I will put it next to the temple as a reaffirmation.” I then went and put it next to one of the boulders. I then walked back and sat on the rock. I focused my mind on the man and pillar and nothing happened. I then had this sense I should leave, which I did.
I then walked up a ways and sat on a large rock in the middle of the stream. It was a wonderful area. I must of been there for 1 or 2 hours. My mind seemed difficult to concentrate and it wavered about. Near the end I closed my eyes and seemed to as if separate from myself and raise above my self. I looked up and saw a face in the sky. A great yearning came upon me and I seemed to fly before it. I seemed to fly and fly and soon I could see that I was in a pillar of light, not much different than the one I had seen earlier. I saw myself moving closer and closer to the face but I never seemed to be getting closer. I, for some reason, began to call myself the “racer” as I was racing in this pillar of light toward this face. I knew that the face was the ‘primal being’. I knew that it was him I was seeking and racing toward in life. After a while I opened my eyes and, like the ‘primal being’ in that image I saw earlier, I got fidgety. I stood up and decided to leave.
I walked up further. As I walked I began to feel frightened. And then, at one point, I became frightened. I looked out into an area of the forest. Something scared me. It seemed grim and dark-like, different that the rest of the forest. I just about didn’t go in that area but decided to. I walked around and sat by the stream for a bit. I then walked upstream. As I walked it seemed eerily quiet. And then I glanced up and saw a skeleton, the ribs and pelvis of a deer, I think, which were still intact (this was actually there, not an image of my mind). Hair covered the ground next to it. Naturally, I had to look closer, and reflected on death. I walked further up and noticed that everything seemed quiet, my mind seemed quiet but dishevelled for some reason. About a 100 yards up I decided to turn back. As I started to walk back I saw another part of the skeleton, and then another part, as if it was all scattered in various places in this area. I wondered if this ‘sense of death’ is what made this area unnerving to me . . . I cannot say. This would not be the first time I have felt an eerie feeling around an area only to find the remains of a dead animal. After I left the area the eery unnerveness did fade away and the colors seemed brighter for some reason. My mind seemed quiet after that and I did not sense anything else all the way back.
This event shows some interesting things about “nature-as-living” images:
- The need for a sense of ‘magic’. The sense of ‘magic’ is a sense that there is something more that you cannot see. This sense was particularly strong that day.
- The abilty to peer into what one ‘senses’. This requires great concentration and ability to peer into oneself, ones feelings, and the images one see’s in ones head.
- The fact that the images you see often initiates the images in your mind. A good example was the image of the boulder moving at the beginning. I know, as a fact, that I was actually not looking at the boulder when I saw it “move”. What I saw was the image in my mind which made it seem as if I was looking at it.
- How when one senses and “sees” things it means one is in the correct state of mind. The “nature-as-living” images require a specific state of mind. A sign I’m in this state of mind, or close, is when I sense and ‘see’ things. If one is not in this state of mind nothing happens.
- The revealing of ‘personal mythology’. Since these images come from within they are all really a form of personal mythology. Sometimes, though, its more prevalent than at other times.
- Its deep-rooted origin. I often found that I say things before I knew what was going on. I would even react to things before I knew what I was reacting to. These all show its deep-rooted orign.
- I often see images like a ghost, as if I can see through them. The images I see are often very faint. A lot of this, it seems, is dependent on how well I can see the images in my mind. Sometimes I have that ability and sometimes I don’t.
- The need to play along. Truly, “living-as-nature” images require a person to play along and ‘go with the flow’. A person must let things happen as they happen. This is not as easy as it sounds.
- I have found is that “living-as-nature” images are another form of thinking. In fact, it often blends into thoughts so much that I cannot tell which is which. Its as if they are thinking with different aspects of the mind.