A dream about an uncle who wasn’t an uncle – how knowledge makes me sick

“I dreamt that I was somewhere eating lunch with one of my uncles.  I was eating taco’s.  There were three.  As I ate I talked to him about something.  He asked me if I ate a lot of meat which may be the reason why I have symptoms of gout.  I said I didn’t eat a lot of meat but looked at the meat in the taco’s and wondered if I was eating more than I realized.  After a while I began to feel sick to my stomach and I couldn’t eat the third taco which was still in a plain white bag on the table.”

This dream really bewildered me.  I couldn’t make any sense out of it.  Interestingly, the man in the dream was not an uncle.  He is a man married to one of my moms cousins.  But he had a resemblence to someone, a person that kept appearing whenever I first thought of this dream:  the man who played Colombo.  I had bought a DVD of two episodes of Colombo at the library and had watched one.  I actually liked it.  As I reflected on it I was struck by how he seemed to have a slight resemblence to two relatives of mine, the man in the dream and an uncle I haven’t thought of in years, who died a long time ago (early 90’s???).  As I reflected on this uncle a lot of feelings came to me that I have forgotten about.  He actually had great influence on me.  He inspired me to study history and to do black powder guns.  He seemed to have confidence in me that no one else had ever shown me.  I can remember the last time I saw him.  Me and my dad were at Checker Auto Parts and I saw this ragedy old man in a beat up dirty winter coat.  I looked at him and turned to my dad and said, “look at that old guy over there”.  He looked and recognized who it was.  This stunned me, that I did not recognize an uncle I liked.  I thought that this was reflected in the dream, where my uncle in the dream was another relative, a theme of being unable to recognize things, that I cannot tell whats what which, in a way, is what this dream is about.  He died, I think, a few months later.  As I reflected on my uncle I realized that he did inspire me to learn things and this made me think of a sense I was having recently, that knowledge is making me ‘sick’.  In other words, my uncle is a reference to knowledge.  My inability to recognize him in the dream, and at Checker Auto Parts, refers to how I had a hard time recognizing that knowledge was making me ‘sick’.  Another reference to this is the meat reference.  Meat also represents knowledge.  Its true that I have what may be gout symptoms and I was told meat can help cause those symptoms.  I’m not a big meat eater though but I often wondered if I did eat more than I realize.  As a result, the thought of the meat (knowledge) made me sick to my stomach as I don’t want to have something like gout.  The whole thing refers to how this thing that I liked (knowledge), through the symbol of my uncle and meat, is making me ‘sick’ and that I couldn’t see it at first.  Knowledge is starting to make me sick, I feel, because I can see that it is all an illusion, a fabrication of our mind.  As a result, its not ‘real’ nor is it where life is at.  But, yet, I never recognized it as such at first and its this inabilty that is making me ‘sick’ to my stomach.  Its like I’ve been duped by it all.  In a way, my ‘falling to knowledge’ shows how stupid I am, which is ironic as ‘falling to knowledge’ is supposed to mean that you aren’t stupid . . .

This entry was posted in Psychology and psychoanalysis, Stuff involving me and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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