I went into the woods and found a wonderful place.
As I sat there I felt the ‘presence’ of the woods, and could as if feel it as a living being. Often, I saw a man in my head.
I began to feel removed from myself. At one point I got up and walked around and had this weird feeling. I thought: “did I move?”
I couldnt’ tell.
I found myself wanting to jump around and scream . . . I guess like a dance. I grabbed a stick and found myself wanting to cut myself with it in the chest (later, when I got home I saw a big scrap on my chest so I apperently did something). I found that I became frightened that I’d hurt myself. I quickly sat down. I was on some rocks and felt that if I remained standing I’d jump around and fall. I felt uncontrollably jittery and nervous-like. I kept twitching my head for some reason, and moved it forward and backward. Occasionally, I’d twitch my shoulders.
As I sat there I found I couldn’t distinguish the world from me. It was like there was no difference. The world seemed an illusion, just an image.
I knew that I had to go ‘deeper’ (meaning do a shamanistic journey). I closed my eyes and saw the darkness. I kept seeing myself with a spear, one which I’ve seen many times. I saw that the spear seemed to have flames in it. That is to say, the flames were in it.
I began to fly around in the darkness. I knew that I was trying to find a “tale”.
Then I seemed to see a man . I found myself asking him for the “tale of the spear” which I always seem to carry.
I heard a voice say “the spear was pulled from a man”.
And then, suddenly, I saw someone pull the spear from the back of a man who was naked from the waist up. It was in his right side under the skin, the tip was toward his head. The man grabbed it by its tip and pulled it out of his body.
I felt the pain. I then looked and saw that the man with the spear in his back was me.
I looked up and saw the man who pulled the spear out. He was a menacing tall man. He seemed to be covered in some armor that looked metallic. He seemed a warrior of some sort, but I had this notion he might be a dragon or something else . . . perhaps some ‘beast-man’?
After he pulled the spear out he put the tip in a fire that I was kneeling in front of. It got red hot. He then pounded it a few times. As he did this I looked up at the man and seemed to be stunned. I said something to this effect, “is that me? . . . that’s me! . . . its the future me!” I went on to say that he was a conglomeration of all the attributes I would gain from different animals and things (boar, bird, dragon, etc.), I then realized that I was, in actuality, the ‘old me’.
And, then, the warrior pushed the spear into the my heart.
I felt myself fall back. There was no pain as I thought there would be. I seemed to close my eyes, everything went black and I seemed to be floating in a fluid. It was so calm, quiet, and easy. I remained there for some time.
And then, I seemed to rise up and slowly floated to the surface. When I came out of the water I was changed . . . I was the warrior. I also seemed to be like a bird and flew upward. As I flew upward I seemed to follow the ‘great pillar’. I went up there as if to see someone. As I flew up I realized that I had forgot something. I went back down and grabbed my old body and began to eat it. I could see myself. I looked like a bird, holding my body with my talons, and picking at it with my beak. I then took the remains and bones and crushed them somehow in my talons that they turned to dust. I then flew up and spread the dust over parts of the forest that was there. I never made it up to whoever I was going to see. I felt this had some meaning, that my forgetting to do this meant that I was doing something wrong.
Suddenly, I woke up. I found myself amazingly calm and collected, quite a change from what I was before.
There are a number of things that showed this was a great time for shamanistic journey dreaming:
- Feeling a ‘presence’.
- Seeing a man in my head. It is particulary important in that I know that it originates from the sense of a presence.
- The feeling of being removed from myself which shows a change of state of mind.
- My not being able to distinquish myself from the world.
- My wanting to jump around and scream.
- My wanting to cut myself which, to me, seemed to show that I was willing to ‘go into myself’, so to speak. That is to say, I was willing to go beyond myself.
All these are great signs, especially together.
What instigated it? The magic of the area had a lot to do with it. This was a wonderful place for me, a place that consistently brings out a lot in me. Its a heavily forested area, with a small stream which I sit by. The tree’s are like a canopy above me and I’m in the shade of the tree. I can’t tell you how this type of area affects me.
In the early stages I said I was ‘flying around looking for a tale’. Often, I’ve found, when I have journey dreams I go through a period of ‘flying about’, usually in darkness. As I fly about I see images here and there. I look and see the images and go on to the next one almost as if I am looking for the ‘right image’ to follow. The “tale” refers to the dream. I often refer to my dreams as a “tale” and that what I seek are the stories in these dreams, which is the “tale”. This is one of the unique things about my shamanistic journey dreams as they seem like they are trying to find the “tale” behind things. This is something I’ve never heard of before.
The ‘great pillar’ is a pillar that I have been seeing recently in journey dreams. I first saw it as a ‘pillar of light’ but it seems to often seems to be made out of something solid like wood. Sometimes it appears as a tree or tree-like. At other times it just appears to to be a smooth cylindrical thing that has no end.
This dream is really a continuation of the one the day before, about becoming a flame. Recently, I have been having difficulty with contemplation and such. I have said repetetively that its because “I’m trying to relive past successes”. In other words, I’m only repeating what I’ve always done. I’m not going to the ‘next step’. In many ways, this means I will not ‘let my old self go’. This dream seems to say such a thing. Its like saying “take the spear of contemplation, kill your old self with it, so you can fly away anew!”
Copyright by Mike Michelsen