I was somewhere that looked like a park. I looked out over this grassy area. For some reason I had my flintlock pistol. I noticed it was loaded. To me that’s dangerous so I decided to shoot the gun into the ground to unload it. For some reason, though, I lifted my hand up almost horizontal (normally, I would of shot downward so the ball goes into the ground). I shot and, oddly, could see the ball fly through the air. Though I aimed into the grass the ball seemed to go up and up where it would cross over a road. I got nervous and noticed there were no cars coming. Then, as the ball reached the road, cars came from both sides. I saw the ball go through a car window and thought I saw some accident, or something, in amongst the cars. I cringed. I looked again and it seemed OK. I breathed a sigh of relief and forgot about it. Some time later a female relative came over and told us of an accident that had happened and that they had found a muzzleloader ball in the engine (I think?) of a motorcycle and that the motorcyclist was hurt. The police was investigating. I panicked and did not know what to do. I tried to think of a way out of it. Sometime later the female relative came over again and asked if any of us had a gun. I said I had min flintlock and pulled it out. I noticed that it was different than the one I really have. The wood was greenish and it was slender with a longer barrel. It also seemed to have some sort of border around much of the fixtures. I looked down the barrel, into the pan, and such and felt that you couldn’t tell if it had been shot recently. I was relaxed. But my relative got a toothpick, or something similar, and rubbed the point along an inside groove somewhere (as if to get the residue of black powder). This made me worry . . . a chemical test? I was worried they’d surely find out. I tried to think of all these ways to get out of it. It seems that the police came over later and I denied shooting the gun, though they seemed to think I did it. At this point the dream gets vague. I recall taking a walk and I thought about what happened. I realized that I should say exactly what happened, that I actually shot it into the grass but, for some reason the ball went up. It was not deliberate on my part. I seemed to feel this would be OK as it was the truth. I can’t recall but I think that’s what I told them. This dream so bothered me that I woke up, but it wasn’t quite a nightmare.
(What stood out in this dream was how I tried to avoid being implicated in the accident by lying about it. In that way, it was sort of a moral issue. I also feared the repercussions of it. This is what woke me up.
In a half sleep I thought about the dream and basically said that this dream is a ‘realization dream’ involving the fact that this society is seeming, to me, to be getting more ‘screwed up’ and that I no longer can believe in it nor do I feel a part of it. Its a reference to the realization that this is now ‘fact’. I even mentioned this the night before. I stated how this society seems less human and that the ‘system’ is taking over. I’m finding myself in a dilemma of no longer being part of a society. I look around and people are just ‘there’. In a ways, they are no different than the machines the litter the place.
The flintlock is a reference to my interest in the past and, in effect, refers to ‘human society’. I can even recall how people reacted to my ‘primitive flintlock’ . . . it wasn’t ‘advanced’ enough for Mr. American. They all had to have the ‘latest and the greatest’. Therefore, the flintlock refers to ‘human society’. The shooting of the gun in the grass is a reference, I think, to my concern over society. The ball flying into the traffic shows the realization that its a greater concern than I originally thought. The area where the ball went reminded me of an area by a library I often go to. There is a river next to it which is very nice but there is a road next to it that makes this horrible rumble which, basically, ruins it. The traffic, then, refers to the destructive quality of modern society. The worry over the inquiry of the police, really, is a reference to my dilemma of ‘what am I going to do?’. The female relative refers to a relative who is a ‘male-want-to-be’. The night before I heard a conversation between some adolescents in which they mentioned how they did not know if a specific girl “classified herself as a boy or a girl”. One of them said, “I think she classes herself as a boy”. I couldn’t believe it. Can’t even accept what sex they are??? I remarked that “that’s pathetic . . . what a joke this society is becoming when people can’t even accept who they are.” In many ways, this dream is a reference to the feeling that remark evoked in me. To be frank, I don’t want to live in a warped society where people can’t accept who they are . . . that’s like a denial of one’s humanity to me. That’s the dilemma: I’d like to leave and go somewhere more ‘human’ and ‘natural’. But where is this place at?
One thing I remarked, that was quite interesting, is about my ‘apparent lying’. Initially, I resisted and refused to admit that I had anything to do with the accident. Normally, people (such as the police) would make this out as some horrible act, that I was deliberately lying and such. I felt that this was not the case. In effect, the problem is that I had to have time to accept my involvement. Everything happened so quickly that I didn’t know how to react. Because of this, my ‘lying’ was not really ‘lying’, in actuality, but really a statement of “I need time to let it sink in”. Interestingly, it was during a walk, later in the dream, that it finally ‘sunk in’ and I was able to admit, to myself, what happened. I mentioned that I felt that a lot of ‘lying’ is actually a form of this ‘apparent lying’. In other words, its needing time to allow certain facts to sink in.)
Copyright by Mike Michelsen