Here’s a thought I had:
Way back in the 1980’s I began an inquiry into females claims of abuse, victimizing, molestation, harassment, etc. The girls who started this inquiry were called “feminists” whose whole line of thought was that the female had been “oppressed” by the evil tyrannical male. Many of the claims these girls made still rank as some of the most ridiculous claims I’ve ever heard (see my article Thoughts on the absurd claims of feminists). Many of these claims were not true.
Later, in about 1990 or so, many females would claim that they had been sexually “molested”, again by the evil male. Many of these claims were also not true.
In the years since I have noted repetitively that many females often tend to claim things like:
- That they have been abused, victimized, molested, harassed, etc.
- That it was usually by the male.
- That they are “innocent victims” in all and they played no part in it.
- That they often claimed that they were “traumatized” by this event.
- That once they see themselves as abused, or victims, some will sometimes become obsessed with it in some way (see below).
This became a typical pattern I’d see over and over and over again. It would prompt sayings like, “have you ever noticed how females are always victims?” or “females . . . victims yet again!” or “not another female victim!” and such. Not only that, I never saw an instance where the female claimed that they had an active role in any of it . . . they were always the passive and innocent ones needlessly victimized . . . what I call the “babe in the woods mentality”. This seemed all so suspicious to me.
Another thing I should point out is that many of the claims of “abuse” are not necessarily physical or sexual in orientation. In fact, most aren’t. Examples of the different forms include:
- Political abuse. They claim they are “oppressed”, “enslaved”, etc. This is common with feminists.
- Social conditions. They see abuse in the ways of society. How many times have I heard that cooking or cleaning is a form of abuse?
- Everyday things. These see abuse in everyday things and objects. A good example is that wearing a dress is a form of abuse.
- Everyday behavior. My introduction to all this was in about 1976 when I opened a door for a girl and was called a “male chauvinist pig” for it. A simple act of kindness and yet they saw abuse in it! Many females are so easily offended, often by statements by people, that its utterly ridiculous.
- Statements they don’t like. A good example is if they are offended or insulted by something someone said. Sometimes this can get a more extreme reaction than an actual physical action, like molestation!
- Actual physical behavior. This, of course, tends to be sexual in orientation. They will claim rape or molestation, for example.
So what we see is a greater body of “abuse” than one would normally suppose and in areas you normally wouldn’t think. For some females, this feeling abused is so prevalent, and figures so much in their perception of the world, that it creates a “victim mentality” or, as I always say, the “female-as-victim”. There is a type of female personality where the idea that they are victims is the basis of their whole stance in life.
If one looks closer one can see that a lot of female behavior is motivated by the “victim mentality”, even though they may not appear to be at first glance. Some examples include:
- Trying to be like a man (behind this hides a contempt for being female).
- Making everything out as a rights issue (they are concerned for their rights because they feel a victim).
- Being easily offended (reveals the insecurity the “victim mentality” causes).
- Being overly concerned about the environment (in this case, the environment is equated with themselves and both are being “victimized” by humanity).
This shows that the “victim mentality” is displayed by many manifestations and forms. Because of this, there are females whose whole lives revolve around the “victim mentality”, in one way or another, through their interests, attitudes, beliefs, and actions.
This preoccupation with being “abused” and of being a victim, which is prevalent with many females in the U.S., has made me often describe the U.S. as a “victim culture”. Its a society where many females, in particular, see victimizing everywhere and in everything. I sometimes wonder if the U.S. is going to turn into a society where this attitude predominates. Its not uncommon for me to describe the U.S. as a “society of victims”.
I should point out that this “victim mentality”, as a dominate trait, is not seen with all the females in the U.S. I would say that, when its dominant, its only seen in a small segment of the female population. As a mild attitude its seen with many more females, in one way or another, or at least sporadically. Still, some females do not display it at all. In this way, we see something like a spectrum ranging from dominant to nothing.
There is also quite a range of seriousness in these claims of abuse. They could go from the mundane to the serious. For example, some of these claims of abuse were mild statements, almost asinine, such as that the tyrannical male “forced them to wear nylons”. On the other end of the spectrum, they would claim serious accusations, such as rape or being physically molested.
My inquiry is that only a small proportion of the claims of abuse are true. This was often found out if you inquire in more detail. Some of the things that appeared and prompted me to question the claims include:
- Some obviously did not take place.
- Many of them are so ridiculous that I couldn’t believe that they would make such claims and expect me, or anyone, to believe it.
- Some are over things that are trivial and small.
- Some are incredibly unrealistic often prompting me to say, “what . . . are you kidding?”.
- Some seem neurotic in origin, often reflecting some form of personal “issue”.
- Some appeared to be obviously fabricated.
- Some are so horribly over-reacted that its unreal.
- Some just seem incredibly suspicious.
- The ease and willingness to accuse people made me wonder about motive.
- Some had this quality of being a means to an end, like they were using abuse to get something else.
In other words, when I stood back and looked at it at a distance I developed a doubt about it all. Initially, I believed these claims. I thought they were true but, standing back and looking at it, I found I could not continue that belief.
After realizing that many of these claims were not true, and reflected ulterior motives, I found my self becoming increasingly appalled after watching these claims over the past 30+ years. In fact, I was so appalled by the feminists claims alone that there probably has not been a week since the late 1980’s that it has not crossed my mind in one way or another.
I was particularly appalled for two reasons:
- The false claims of abuse
- The false accusation of people
To me, these are serious issues and should not be looked at lightly. In fact, I think that they should be severely punished if they, or anyone, does these things, particularly if it can get someone in trouble. In other words, once a female, or anyone for that matter, has been established as fabricating abuse or falsely accusing someone then they should be punished for it. As I have watched this happen so many times over the years I have developed strong feelings about this. My observation is that this is far more extensive than I originally thought.
Another thing I was particularly appalled about was how easy it was for some females to accuse people (usually males), like it was nothing for them to do, and get people in trouble. In many cases, they would be proven wrong, or it was discovered to be over something trivial or ridiculous, but they didn’t show even any remorse, shame, or even apologized (in fact, I’ve never seen a female apologize for false accusations!). This stunned me and was one of the signs that we are looking at something “deep”.
I was also appalled by how they used the American Constitution and law to get their way. I’ve seen some females wield these like they were a sword in order to get their way . . . it was a means to get their way. In other words, there’s not a lot of respect for the Constitution or law. It just gives them what they want.
I was also particularly appalled at how the society doesn’t do anything about it. Many people (male and female) have made similar observations I made, of how false many of these claims of abuse are. Its talked about all the time, in one way or another, and has been condemned by other people as well. But the whole subject has a “taboo” quality about it. Its talked about, behind closed doors, but not “formerly acknowledged” publicly. As a result, nothing is done about it. I know enough about things now to know that its a “taboo” subject because it involves the mother instinct. The mother instinct is filled with “taboo” subjects that can’t be talked about, discussed, or referred to (see below). This is one of those subjects.
A SPECTRUM OF FEMALE CLAIMS OF ABUSE
According to my observation, I’ve found that there is a spectrum of female abuse claims that describes different conditions and realities:
- It is real
- Its based on a naive female
- Its an exaggeration of an event
- They’re finding abuse in things
- Its fabricated
Because there are so many it means is that most claims of “abuse” are probably not real. I used to always said that “whenever a female claims abuse then its probably less than a 1 out of 4 chance its real or happened the way she said it did”. So far, I see nothing to disprove that.
1 – It is Real
Some of the claims of abuse are real and happened. Accordingly, they should be treated that way if found out to be true.
I am all against any form of abuse, as long as some things are established:
- That its real and did happen
- That they played no active part in it, did not provoke it, and did not behave in a way to promote it
Most of the real abuse I’m aware of tends to be a result of things like these:
- Bad situations. Sometimes, the situation their in leads to a bad end.
- Bad people. There are people that are willing to do bad things. There is a small percentage of the male population, for example, that is all-too-willing do bad things to the female.
- Various social customs that is not in their favor. In any society, there are social customs that work against us.
As a result of these, the situation can “turn sour”.
Personally, I don’t think the female is any more adversely affected by these things than most guys. Of course, there are differences:
- The manner of the appearance of abuse. Males tend to be abused differently, and for different reasons, than females.
- The reaction is different. Males typically don’t have a “victim mentality” and don’t view it that way. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a male speak of themselves as being “abused” (except child abuse). Males usually display great emotion when something adverse happens to them, such as by “getting mad” or “feeling disgusted” and such, even to the point of becoming violent.
The point of all this is that I have no reason to believe that any single group (male or female) is “singled out” for abuse. For example, there is no conspiracy or plot against the female that I can see. Adverse situations and “abuse” can appear to anyone in society at any time. Because of this, any “abuse” toward the female is really just part of the generalized”abuse” toward people, as a whole, in society. That’s why its not so prevalent as it seems. I would even go on to say that the conditions and situations a person is in is probably more likely to predispose a person to adverse situations and “abuse” than, say, ones sex.
2 – It is based on a Naive Female
Many females are naive and do not realize the consequences of their actions.
Here’s an example. A female once stood up in front of everyone and accused a guy of raping her which, she claimed, traumatized her. This was her story:
“I went to a bar and got drunk. I met a guy and went to his apartment. I then slept overnight in his bed. When I woke up I thought that I had been raped. I have been traumatized by this event ever since.”
The problem is that she willingly went over to a guys apartment and slept in his bed. What do you expect to happen? This is the type of statements you get from naive females. To make it even worse, she later stated that “she wasn’t sure if anything happened”! Do you see what she is saying? She got up and accused a guy in front of people of raping her, which she said traumatized her but she willingly slept in his bed and, to add to that, she wasn’t certain anything happened! Yet she accused this guy of rape, claimed she was traumatized, and in front of everyone. In a way, who’s the victim here? Was she the victim or is she victimizing the guy by false accusation?
I recall hearing similar stories in about 1990 when many females claimed they were being “molested”. In fact, I recall several therapists telling girls that they need to “grow up” and must accept the consequences of their actions. For example, I recall one saying that you don’t wear “revealing clothing”, go to a bar, sleep over at a guys apartment, and think nothings going to happen and then claim rape when something does happen.
I’ve been stunned at how naive females can be. I often think that females now need to be taught things like this:
- The “facts of life”. A good example is that if they wear “revealing clothing” they need to realize that males respond to that and often in ways they may not like . . . that’s the way it is. All they need to do is modify their behavior to prevent that.
- That they are responsible for their actions and that their actions has consequences. For example, if females are “suggestive” to males they need to accept responsibility for that behavior and where that leads.
- That they cannot hide behind the image of the “innocent female”. They can’t just assume that everyone will view them as pure and innocent when things happen to them.
Many females are so naive that they think that if they just “don’t want anything to happen” that nothing is supposed to happen, despite what they may have done to provoke it. Its like saying, “I can do what I like but the male can’t”. How fair is that to the male?
3 – Its an exaggeration of an event
Many claims of abuse are just an exaggeration of event, often simple and mundane everyday events. They are often blown way out of proportion and made out far worse than they are.
One of my personal favorites is a female claiming that she had been “sexually assaulted” because a guy slapped her on the butt. That’s not a sexual assault . . . it takes a little bit more to be sexual assault. At most, its an “inappropriate act”. I know enough about things to know that some girls would be offended and others would be “turned on” by it.
I’ve seen cases where a male is walking among people in a crowded area and, as he swings his arms, his hand happens to touch a females butt. She got mad and claimed that he was “touching her”. I recall a guy who said that when he was in a crowded room with girls he would fold his arms so that wouldn’t happen and avoid being accused.
4 – They’re finding abuse in things
Many females find abuse in things because they are searching for it.
A favorite of mine is females saying that a guy looking at her is tantamount to rape.
Another one is a female being “traumatized” because she overheard a “dirty joke”.
Many females are so easily offended that it doesn’t take much for them to find abuse in things . . . a word, a glance, etc., it doesn’t matter. I’ve been around these girls before and its almost unreal.
5 – Its fabricated
Some females actually fabricate stories of abuse that didn’t happen. Some will actually believe their stories. There’s a number of ways this happens:
- It is a conscious and deliberate fabrication. This is usually done for some specific motive.
- Their emotions dictate the story and what they say. In this case, their emotions are what matter, not the truth of the story. That is to say, the story is just a means for their emotions.
- They actually believe it happened. This often reflects something like a neuroses or some mental “issue”.
Typically, the fabrication of stories has some other motive behind it, such as:
- Mental problems. The fabrication of false events often happen with mental problems.
- “Love problems”. If females fall in love, or are broken hearted, they can fabricate abuse if it serves them.
- Money. Some girls will fabricate abuse to get money out of a guy.
- Revenge. There are some girls who will fabricate abuse to get back at a guy she doesn’t like or “wronged” her in some way.
- A game of power. Some girls find power in fabricating abuse. It gives them power over guys. Often, they will use law and politics as “added muscle”.
- Somehow being “led on” to believe it. In some cases, society, or certain people, can lead girls to believe that an event was an abuse though they would normally not see it that way. Generally, once a female believes she has been abused she will react that way.
- Mindlessness and mass hysteria. These phenomena often makes girls fabricate stories, usually in a manner that fits the hysteria (see below). The tendency of mindlessness tends to make girls believe it, even though nothing may have happened.
THE PROBLEM OF THE CLAIMS OF ABUSE – THE EFFECT OF THE FEMALE CHARACTER
My observation is that certain things need to happen in any claims of abuse by a female:
- It needs to be established that something actually happened
- It needs substantiation other than the females claims
This shows some effects of the female character (which a lot of females will probably not like to hear). Much of these character traits are related with the mother instinct (see below). Some aspects of the female character that complicate things include:
- First of all, there is a question with the testimony of females. This is a sad fact of the female character. The fact is that once a female believes she has had some abuse inflicted on her, she reacts to it as if it were real. Whether its real or false does not matter . . . its if she BELIEVES it or not that matters, not whether it happened. In this way, many reactions to abuse is really a question of her belief, not on an actual happening. This phenomena is very unique to the female. I see it rarely with males.
- I’ve sat and watched females bounce around in their statements too. In some cases, what the female believes depends on her mood. As her mood changes, so does her testimony and claims of what happened. Watching this phenomena over the years has made me doubt many females claims . . . I learned that you don’t automatically assume what they claim is true. It could be true but you don’t assume it is.
- Another sad fact is that if a female believes she has been abused she reacts as if she was abused, even though nothing happened. What this means is that, if it didn’t happen, the female has “traumatized” herself with her own mind, so to speak. In other words, females often tend to “traumatize” themselves with their own beliefs. This means that you can’t necessarily rely on the symptoms of “abuse”.
Phenomena of the female character, such as these, makes it difficult to determine what is going on exactly. As a result, female claims of abuse require a more extensive inquiry than what would normally be done in most situations. I’ve learned that you must be very careful and not jump to conclusions.
THE EFFECT OF THE MOTHER INSTINCT IN “ABUSE CLAIMS”
Overall, I tend to view that much of the “abuse claims” phenomena is related with the mother instinct. There’s a lot I can say about the mother instinct but I will try to be brief.
The “Damage-By-Motherhood Dilemma”
According to my observation there are certain themes that appear in the mother instinct that create a dilemma in many females. Some of these that conflict are:
- That the female body and self is “precious”. This is really an instinctual sense of the preservation of the child. Since the child comes from her body nature has given the female a sense that her body is “precious” and so the preservation of the child is transferred to a sense of having to preserve her body. This sense of being “precious” will also extend to her mind and self as well.
- That the female body must be “violated”. The irony is that, in order for the “precious” female body, and the motherhood it contains, to come to fruition the female body must be “violated” . . . first by the male, then by the child. Basically, the female body must be “damaged” to fulfill the need of the mother instinct (to get pregnant). This conflicts with the instinctual sense of her body being “precious” and needing to be preserved.
The net result of these two tendencies is a conflict caused by the mother instinct: the preservation of her body (to maintain her sense of being “precious”) versus to damage her body (get pregnant). This can create a dilemma for some girls and can effect some girls all their life. I sometimes speak of this as the “damage-by-motherhood dilemma”.
I tend to believe that one way this conflict has been averted in the world is through the marriage ritual. Basically, marriage gives a socially accepted “approval” for the female to have her body “violated”. This spares the female of dilemma and conflict. This is also one reason why its important for the female to be a virgin at marriage . . . she is “undamaged”.
What does all this mean? That the desire for a child is often associated with the theme of being “abused“, “victimized”, or hurt in some way. In short, being “abused” is really a reference to becoming pregnant.
When we look further we find that there is a close association between the female being a “victim”, or “abused” in some way, with these other aspects seen in motherhood:
- Menstruation (which is associated with childbearing)
- The male
All these things are often seen as”victimizing” or “abusing” the female. They all inflict damage on the female as a result of the mother instinct and motherhood. In this way, they “threaten” the female or at least that’s how some females view it.
The desire for a child often creates a lustful desire in females deep down. This often appears as unconscious sexual desire. It often appears as a feeling that the male and sex is “hurting” them, so they see these as a threat. In other words, unconscious feelings of lust and sexual desire often appears as a feeling that the male, and sex, is harming them.
What we see, then, is that the instinctual need to have a child makes females feel feelings such as:
- They feel that they are “precious”
- They feel that they are going to be “violated” or “damaged” in some way
- They fear or feel apprehension of the male
Here are the basic themes found in the “abuse claims”. If there is much repressed sexual desire then they will start seeing things as “sexual abuse”, molestation, or something similar.
Repressed Mother Instinct
One interesting effect of the “damage-by-motherhood dilemma” is that it can create something like two minds: one part of their mind scared of getting “hurt” (wanting to preserve her body) and the other desiring or wanting to “get hurt” (pregnant). This can cause a conflict within the female. Some forms of this conflict include:
- Some girls will bounce between one mind and the other mind . . . acting “precious” one day and a whore the next day.
- Some girls become like sluts and whores.
- Some girls deliberately seek to be abused, victimized, and such (see my article Thoughts on the female ‘drive to be a victim’).
- Some girls become overly concerned, almost obsessional, over preserving their body.
- Some girls repress the desire to be “hurt” (that is, pregnant), so that it is deep within their mind but, overtly, they are overly concerned about preserving their body and self.
The later repressed form is seen in the female who displays “abuse claims”, it seems to me. What it reflects is a deep repressed desire to become pregnant which they are denying.
The Constraining of the Mother Instinct
For the female who displays “abuse claims” the feelings of motherhood are denied or refused because the mother instinct is constrained, which is one of the reasons why they are only seen in some females . . . they must have a condition that constrains the mother instinct in them. Not all females have this problem.
The mother instinct is constrained for a number of reasons, such as:
- The mother instinct is repressed.
- The mother instinct is not fulfilled.
- The mother instinct is not acknowledged by the female. As a result, it does not become part of the female self but treated as something “separate” or removed from them.
- Because of female identity problems. This is common nowadays. See my article Thoughts on the ‘failed sex’ – how many female traits have failed – a hidden crisis of the American female.
- Because the female is alienated from the mother instinct. This is common nowadays.
- Because of strong moral codes. Much of this descends from Protestant Christian moral values.
- The effects of mindlessness and mass hysteria. These tend to detach the female from herself and the mother instinct (see below).
These cause a frustration of the mother instinct. Because of this, the mother instinct is unrealized. It then seems like a process takes place that goes something like this:
- The motherly desire is as if “kept deep inside”, repressed, and denied.
- Despite this, its still an active desire within them struggling to get out.
- Since it is such a strong desire hidden deep within them it has no place in their interior life. As a result, it is projected outward into the world.
- The effect of this is that they start seeing references to it all around them. They start seeing it in things, in actions, and so on.
- These references tend to take on the quality of “abuse”. This is because they are denying it deep down. Therefore, they see it as a threat. Once this happens, many things starts to “violate” them and threaten them.
- Since motherly desire is associated with the male, they start seeing the male as the “threat” and blame him for much of the problems.
The result is a bunch of girls who keep seeing themselves being “abused” by the male, even though nothing, or little, has happened.
What we’re looking at, really, is a neuroses caused by a repression of an impulse.
That’s what it seems like to me anyways.
The Taboo of the Mother Instinct
There is a great taboo surrounding the mother instinct. In fact, the taboo’s are so strong that the mother instinct it creates reactions such as:
- You can’t talk about it. As a result, the mother instinct remains a neglected subject, never talked about, never discussed, never dwelt upon.
- There can be great, and often violent, reaction if it is referred to. I’ve seen cases where just referring to it will make girls “freak out”. Interestingly, when I have seen this reaction the themes of “abuse”, described above, appear often. They become accusative, claiming the female had been abused, oppressed, etc., usually by the male, all throughout history, and such.
One effect of this is that when there are problems with the mother instinct they are never tended to. As a result, many “female problems” never become resolved. This became clear to me when I went to the University (when I wanted to be a psychologist). Any inquiring into the female could only be about certain aspects. You could not speak of certain subjects, such as female insecurity, and if you did you had to be very careful about it to the point that it was like walking on egg shells (see my article Thoughts on why a ‘female psychology’ can’t be developed effectively). Basically, the taboo’s surrounding the female were so extensive that it was like reading a book with 80% of the pages ripped out because you’re not supposed to read it!
The strength of the taboo’s surrounding the mother instinct seem to be a result of:
- The self-preservation qualities that are found within it, of safe guarding the child and so on.
- Because it is instinctual and, therefore, transcends the conscious mind.
- For the female, it has deep feelings because of the damage created by the “damage-by-motherhood dilemma’.
I should point out that the the mother instinct doesn’t just affect the female. The male also feels the effects of the mother instinct, including its taboo. I often jokingly call this the “male mother instinct”. In actuality, the male does not have a mother instinct like the female but he reacts to it in similar ways as the female. For example, he feels the instinctual self-preservation quality that surrounds it.
The taboo’s surrounding the mother instinct were not a problem when we lived in nature and people lived more naturally. But now, with all the disruption of society, the taboo has been having a damaging effect on the female. Basically, society causes something like an alienation or detachment of the mother instinct in the female but, because of the taboo, the problems this causes is not tended to or even acknowledged. As a result, the problems caused by the mother instinct just get worse and worse.
Mindlessness and Mass Hysteria
The mother instinct creates a naturally appearing mindlessness in the female. I tend to believe that this is a result of a quality found in the mother instinct: where the child is viewed as an extension of the female body. As a result, it creates a sense, in the female, of being “incomplete” . . . their mind and self is “half there” needing someone else to complete it. This “someone else” is the child. This appears in a number of ways:
- As a mindlessness – they have no mind
- As a selflessness – they disregard themselves or neglect themselves
- As an absence of self – there is no self
An effect of these is that females tend to “not be in control of themselves” oftentimes. I often speak of this as the “partial mind” or “partial self” (see my article Thoughts on the female ‘flight from self’ – The Principle of the ‘Partial Mind’). Being not in control of themselves, females become susceptible to other self’s or minds, so to speak, which often overpowers them. These include:
- Their body
- Their emotions
- Other people
For some females, this can be so bad that they become what I call “female puppets”. This is a tendency where the female relinquishes their mind and self to something else, which then becomes their new mind and self. One that is becoming particularly bad, nowadays, is social ideals, social fads, and social trends. Many females are literally puppets to those things.
The relinquishing of their mind and self to society makes females prone to mass hysteria. Once a hysteria, or social mania, starts they follow it blindly to the point that they are completely controlled by it. If its associated with some form of a threat then the mass hysteria often gets worse because the females are now controlled by a feeling that evokes a strong response. Because of this, the “abuse claims” tends to display qualities of a mass hysteria and can become a mass hysteria. This is why “abuse claims” often come in waves: all of a sudden all these girls claim that they have been “abused” then it disappears and the claims disappear and forgotten.
One interesting effect of mindlessness, particularly in a mass hysteria, is that once they relinquish their mind and follow the hysteria, girls can start to believe what the hysteria states, to the point that they may start fabricating stories in order to follow the hysteria. As a result, we may see a situation where one girl claims abuse then a whole bunch more start to claim abuse as well, even though nothing has happened. Its like a line of domino’s falling. In order to follow the hysteria they may do a number of things to do this:
- Twist things out of proportion
- Find abuse in things
- Fabricate stories that didn’t happen
I’ve seen girls do this before my very eyes and its always unnerved me. Its like watching mindless people who are blindly reacting to social conditions which is causing them to create stories that may get someone in trouble.
I should point out that when a female gives up her mind and self she tends to become alienated from herself and the mother instinct. In short, she loses contact with the mother instinct.
Because the mother instinct involves an instinctual sense of preservation of the child, and this is associated with the female body, there often develops a tendency for the female to become “fixated” on protecting herself. I call this Conceit. This quality is seen a lot in abuse claims. In fact, many of the claims of abuse are rooted in conceit, of the feeling of being “threatened”, usually by childbearing, sex, and the male (as described above). Often, when females feel conceit they tend to focus on themselves at the expense of everything else. That is, all their focus is on themselves . . . the rest of the world disappears or is treated in a trivial way.
Generally, conceit tends to appear a couple of ways:
- Self-concern. Their concern is primarily with themselves. They become vain-like, absorbed with themselves.
- Inconsideration. They treat the rest of the world, and people, like crap.
Of course, there are gradations of these, from mild to severe. Not only that, for some girls it appears only in certain situations. In other girls, it becomes a character trait.
Some of the effects of conceit are:
- A tendency to desperation.
- A tendency to panic.
- A “pigheadedness”.
- A tendency to be stubborn.
- An unwillingness to change.
- An unwillingness to understand.
- A willingness to manipulate things.
- A tendency to disregard other people or concerns.
- A tendency to cold-heartedness.
Many of these qualities are found in abuse claims.
The Question of Obsession
Much of this concern over abuse takes on a quality of an obsession. This obsession appears a number of ways:
- They develop a “victim world view”. This is basically an overall attitude of being abused, that everything abuses them. This becomes a basis for how they view and interpret the world.
- They become overly concerned about being abused even though nothing has happened. They are preoccupied with the thought of being abused or that they might be abused or that there has been abuse in the world, etc.
- They become preoccupied with “causes” which they associate with abuse. This could be things like animal abuse, child abuse, environmental problems, etc.
- If they have had something happen to them it overwhelms them. This makes some of them become engrossed with the idea that they were abused, or are unwilling to forgive, or they are preoccupied with revenge. For some girls, if they were wronged in some way (even like an insult) they will not forget it. There are some that it begins to eat themselves up inside like a disease.
In many ways, “they can’t get it out of their heads”. One could probably say that the “victim mentality” is really a mentality where the idea of abuse, or being a victim, has become an obsession and dominates them.
The Mother Instinct Moan
On a more general note I have found that the female character tends to naturally display qualities that is similar to the themes described above, though in a different way and not fixated on abuse. In fact, its a big part of the feminine character. These includes qualities such as:
- Feeling vulnerable
- Being easily hurt
- Feeling threatened easily
- Feeling weak
- Feeling like a great weight is on their shoulders
In a way, these describe the quality of being “feminine”.
For some females these “feminine” qualities takes on a quality of a moaning, basically about the facts of motherhood (though I’ve never heard a female admit to that). Some themes that cause this moaning include:
- That they are “damaged” every month (menstruation).
- That they feel “violated” by the male in sex.
- That childbearing harms their bodies.
- That they have desires which harm them (sex/childbearing).
- That they feel that the continuation of “life” is on their shoulders (that is, they feel that having children, to the preserve of the species, is a great weight upon them).
- That they feel “enslaved” by the demands of the mother instinct.
All these create a quality of a generalized “moan” that I see in many females. Its a moaning caused by the burden of motherhood. As a result, I call it the “mother instinct moan”.
Here are some more other example articles on similar issues (there are many others as well):
Copyright by Mike Michelsen