On a news report I saw a statement where they were going to talk about “unify America”. My almost automatic reaction to this, I think, deserves to be mentioned, as it brings up some interesting points. I said this:
“The best thing that could be done to unify America is to quit talking about problems and quit mentioning conflicts. Just let people live their everyday lives . . . go to work, go shopping, go walking, and so on. That’s the best way to unify America.”
I thought that interesting. I should point out that I take this point of view from the context that the reason why this question is even being asked is because of problems and conflicts the U.S. is having. This is why I emphasized these.
SOME BASIC THEMES
A basic theme of this statement is the fact that we are continually being reminded of problems and conflicts. This causes some problems:
- Being continually reminded of problems and conflicts has a disrupting quality on people
- Being continually reminded of problems and conflicts often tends to make these problems and conflicts spread
- Being continually reminded of problems and conflicts often cause a division in the people
But it also states some other aspects of this:
- If people are allowed to live everyday lives then problems and conflicts tend to disappear
- There is unity when people are only concerned about their own “world”
BEING CONTINUALLY REMINDED
Being continually reminded of problems and conflicts comes from these sources:
- The media which continually reminds us of problems and conflicts happening all over the world.
- Various groups that endorse, preach, demonstrate, etc. these problems and conflicts, often in a fanatical way
These continually keep problems and conflicts in peoples minds. In fact, they are so prevalent that its hard for problems and conflicts to not be on peoples minds.
“ADOPTING” OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS AND CONFLICTS
Most problems and conflicts are typically told to us. We hear about it. These problems and conflicts involve these traits:
- They involve other people
- They involve other situations
- They involve other conditions
- They involve other places
- They don’t affect us
- They are not experienced by us
In these ways, most problems and conflicts have absolutely nothing to do with us at all! But because we are continually reminded of them we tend to “adopt” these problems and conflicts, of other people and other places, as if they were our own. Once we “adopt” these problems and conflicts they become “our problems”. As a result, we start to believe that they are our problems and conflicts . . . but they’re not. In this way, many people are struggling with and trying to “solve” problems they don’t have!
A good example of adopting other peoples problems and conflicts are signs that I have seen in some protests when, say, someone has been killed by the military. Lets call this person John and so the signs will say something like: “I am John”. Do you see what they are doing? They are identifying themselves with that person and, accordingly, adopting that persons conflict even though they may have not been affected by it at all. Most of these peoples only involvement with John’s problem is that they sympathize with his situation but, yet, they are identifying themselves with him.
This tendency to identification can get so bad that there are some people who will even become “traumatized” by this “adopting” of other peoples problems and conflicts! They will start to act and behave as if they have had the problem and conflict, even suffering symptoms, despair, turmoil, etc. That’s how involved this “adopting” of other peoples problems and conflicts can get. It seems, to me, that females tend to be particularly prone to this “traumatized by adopting” phenomena. This is why I often say “most female problems are actually other peoples problems”.
“EVERYDAY PROBLEMS”
I have always maintained that, for most of us, the problems and conflicts we have are “everyday problems”, that are common all over the world, and are not that dramatic. In this way, if we remove the conflicts and problems that we “adopt” from other people and other places all that’s left is our problems, the “everyday problems” that is found in our “world”. The end result: problems and conflicts tends to be reduced or disappear! This is because they never existed to begin with, at least in our “world”.
Remember . . . we are told these problems and conflicts . . . they don’t affect us . . . they are problems of other people and other places that we only hear about. This means that the problems and conflicts that we hear about are in our minds, based on what we heard and what we visualize as happening. They are not in the reality of our life and world. How do we even know that what we heard is even true? Most of the problems we hear about are exaggerated, biased, and distorted anyways. More than likely, what we visualize as happening probably isn’t accurate anyways.
A UNITY???
All this seems to suggest that there is a unity in a population of people that come in these ways:
- In people being absorbed in their everyday life
- In being concerned with problems and conflicts that only affect them
- Not being concerned with problems and conflicts that do not affect them
This is interesting as it is a different type of unity than I have ever heard.
As I was brought up unity generally means things like these:
- A “unity of cause” or “unity in motive” . . . a unity of intention or act
- A be a “unity in character” or “unity in style” . . . a unity in appearance
- A “unity in ways” or “unity in manners” . . . a unity in the way things are done
This is a totally different point of view. It more or less says that there is unity in people living their everyday lives and being concerned about their “world”. When this happens they become concerned with the people and situation in their immediate surroundings and situation. This causes a unity not only with the people around them but in their life condition, situation, and environment.
It also suggests that being concerned about problems and conflicts of other people and places causes disunity. It causes a disruption or, to be more accurate, it causes an intrusion into our lives of something foreign and alien to us. In this way, it causes us to be “removed from ourselves” and disassociated with ourselves. In other words, being concerned about the problems and conflicts of other people and places not only causes a lack of unity socially but interiorly. It causes a problem of identity . . .
THE PROBLEM OF IDENTITY
In many ways, this whole issue involves identity and how identity is really a form of unity. What we identify with causes two forms of unity:
- A unity with society
- A unity within ourselves
It really then becomes a question of how do we want unity or, rather, what to we identify with? In the article above, I spoke of two forms this may happen:
- A unity-by-what-one-hears.
- A unity-by-living-everyday-lives.
1-A unity-by-what-one-hears
The unifying element is what one hears. We then identify with what one hears. Since these are often the problems and conflicts of other people there is a tendency to “adopt” or identify with them even though they may have no impact or influence on you whatsoever. The result of this is that this identification “unifies” us. In other words, the problems and conflicts of other peoples and places become the unifying element. This causes a number of effects:
- It tends to propagate these problems and conflicts. It can make the problems and conflicts of other people and places spread in a society even though that society does not have these problems. In this way, it develops an infectious quality and as if spreads like an infectious disease in a society. When this happens the society is suffering problems that it, in actuality, does not have.
- The identification of these problems and conflicts makes them hard to resolve. This is because they do not, in actuality, have the problems. In addition, the fight isn’t really against these problems and conflicts but, rather, with identification and the power of identification.
- By identification people start to act as if they have the problems. They start to suffer symptoms, despair, etc. because of this. In short, they are suffering mental problems for problems they don’t have.
What we see, then, is that the identification with the problems and conflicts of other people and places causes problems that can range from society (its infectious quality) down to the individual (mental problems).
2-A unity-by-living-everyday-lives
In this there is unity by living in ones “world” and not the problems and conflicts of other people. The identifying element is everyday life.
This, it seem to me, is the normal and natural pattern almost as if humanity was designed to live this way. This is primarily how people have lived for centuries all over the world. The big change seems to be the coming of something . . . larger societies . . .
THE PROBLEM OF A LARGER SOCIETY . . . A “CULTURE OF PROBLEMS AND CONFLICTS”
Living in a larger society makes it hard to have a unity-by-living-everyday-lives and tends to promote a unity-by-what-one-hears. This is because of a number of things:
- There are many types of people which means that there are many different types of people, conditions, situations, characters, etc.
- The multitude of people causes various types of problems and conflicts which a person often gets pulled into
- There is a tendency to hear about, and be aware, of the problems and conflicts of other people
- With all the people one loses a sense of unity with ones own people or group
As a result, larger societies has a natural tendency which causes people to “adopt” and identify with other peoples problems and conflicts. This tends to cause a loss of unity as well as problems of unity. In this way, this as if creates a “culture of problems and conflicts”, a culture that is unified by problems and conflicts. The problem this culture has tends to come from several sources:
- The identification of the problems and conflicts of other people and places
- The problems that this identification causes, from society to the individual person
These cause a tendency for these conflicts to persist year after year and in a never ending way. This culture causes many societies to have conflicts that have been going on for centuries and seem to have no end or solution.
The persistence of this culture seems to be greatly influenced by things such as these:
- It becomes part of the culture and way of life. This is often caused when it has persisted for many generations. It slowly becomes “the way of things” and is accepted.
- When groups start to identify with it, usually by taking a specific position. It becomes “this group against that group”.
- Because of the greater effects of the problems the culture causes. Because it is based in problems and conflicts these offend have a domino effect and start to influence other things that are often unrelated to it.
This culture can persist for so long that, later on, no one may know what the problems are about or what the big deal is . . . they are just there and seem to have no meaning! This how the identification with the problems and conflicts of other people and places often become “dead conflicts”, empty of meaning and seemingly without purpose. This happens not only in society but with conflicts of individual people that originate from this culture.
THE PROBLEM OF LIVING EVERYDAY LIVES
Living everyday lives tends to require specific conditions to work. These include:
- A smaller society
- Minimal exposure to outside influence
- A lack of hearing things
These are almost impossible to have in the larger modern societies. Because of this, when I said, in the original statement above, that we need to live everyday lives, it is not really very realistic nowadays. As a result, living everyday lives tends to be corrupted by, or changes, to a society where one is continually reminded of the problems and conflicts of other people which, of course, causes a tendency to “adopt” or identify with those problems and conflicts. This progression seems to happen almost automatically. This means that most people would have to make an effort to live this way.
AN IDENTITY PROBLEM . . . TO MASS HYSTERIA
The tendency to “adopt” other peoples problems and conflicts is really a form of identity problem. This is because we are identifying with something that is not us. Since its not us, or reflect us, we tend to lose a sense of self. This loss of self tends to predispose us to mass hysteria, of “losing our self in the herd” or “blindly following the herd”. Its probably no surprise, then, that the “adopting” of the problems and conflicts of other people is associated with mass hysteria. This is why problems and conflicts often get out-of-control in larger societies.
THE REALITY
It seems, to me, that the reality is that, in a large society, there will never be any real unity. There may be a unity “of sorts” but there are always different groups, conditions, etc. that cause an endless supply of problems and conflicts which cause a loss of unity and identity. The solution that I gave in the original statement above, then, may be true for some people but not for many others.
THE DILEMMA OF A CHRISTIAN-BASED UNITY
One of the ideas of unity, in the U.S., is based in Christianity and this idea that we are all supposed to “love one another”. Many people are trying to force things to be this way. In other words, they are trying to force a unity to happen based on an ideal. And, of course, if it doesn’t happen that way then it has moral condemnation. This creates a conflict: trying to force things to fit an ideal, which doesn’t work in the real world, and morally condemning it when it doesn’t work. This creates something like an endless vicious circle. Its like expecting things to be the way one wants it to be and condemning it when it doesn’t. From what I have seen this seems a common point of view in the U.S., particularly with the idea of unity. To me, its like a dead end road, it gets nowhere . . . and hasn’t. This is why I have always emphasized the need to quit expecting people to “love one another”. It sounds good but its not going to happen.
Copyright by Mike Michelsen
Mikes passing thoughts Blog 